Thursday, October 28, 2010

Bookie Awards Nominations!

My brain has pretty much gone bye-bye after all the furniture shopping and Meat Grinding I've been doing recently, but I just got a Google alert about something interesting. Bear Necessities is up for a Bookie award.

A who what now? Hmm, never heard of that one before. So I followed the link and found this on the Authors After Dark blog:

Hello all!

I'm home from my week in SC and low and behold, I actually WORKED while I was there, Surprise Surprise! So as Convention Director for the AAD event, I'm happy to present to you all the nominations for 41 of the 45 categories for the first annual bookie awards! Now the Bookies from this moment onwards will be handled by our Bookie Awards staff, both are readers and attendees and have agreed to give their time to make this a fair and impartial ballot.

This year, because of lack of nominations, we have omitted 4 categories. That could change in the future. Also, Any partial nominations (title without an author) were not counted. Voting begins in November, so shall we... get to the good part? Ok then...
 So I scroll down (and DOWN; forty-one categories means a LOT of names) and low and behold, look what I find:
Shifter Non Wolf Novel:
Entwined by Fate- S.A Price
Eat, Prey, Love by: Kerrelyn Sparks
No Mercy by Sherrilyn Kenyon
Healer's Choice by Jory Strong
Naked Dragon by Annette Blair
Bear Necessities Dana Marie Bell
Wildfire - Christine Feehan
Twin Spirits by Mary Winter
Beast Behaving Badly - Shelly Laurenston
Eternal Hunter, by Cynthia Eden
Magic Bleeds by Ilona Andrews
Love in the Time of Dragons by Katie MacAlister

By the time I got there I was reeling. There are some really talented authors on that list, let alone in the category I was named in. Eat, Prey Love and Beast Behaving Badly rank amongst my favorite reads so far this year, so to have my name in that particular hat is a real honor.

Here are some more than familiar names that jumped out at me as I read down the list:

Best Website: Bianca d'Arc and Maya Banks
eBook Only Novel: Conquering India - Melissa Schroeder (a DC Area Storyteller)
Paranormal Menage: Whirlpool by Vivian Arend
Publisher of the Year: Samhain Publishing
Werewolf Novel: Wolf Signs - Vivian Arend
Western Romance Novel: Corralled by Lorelei James

Congrats to everyone who got nominated. From the comments section, Stella Price mentions that these awards were "blind" nominations made by readers and bloggers, meaning no one knew who voted for whom. Once the votes were tallied, this was the final list. So double-congrats, because someone out there loves you!

Monday, October 25, 2010

Furniture Shopping (Or How Children Kill Brain Cells)

Dusty and I have been forcing (yes, people, with whips and chains I tell you!) the children to accompany us when we go furniture shopping on the weekends.

Oh. The horror.

You see, we're doing a family room/kitchen remodel (heavy on the family room). One of the things I want to do is replace the old microfiber couch with a leather one, get a nice, comfy chaise lounge for me and a swivel recliner for Dusty. So far we've found the sofa and the recliner, but the chaise eludes us. So we trek on, intrepid hunters that we are, and thank god every time we go that furniture doesn't eat people. Because if we had to sneak up on an unsuspecting entertainment center just dying for a taste of juicy human, we'd be toast. Our kids couldn't be quiet if we showed them a tiger and said "If you don't be quiet he will eat you."

I can almost hear the chorus of "Why?"

So anyway, off we go furniture shopping. I'm having a really hard time finding a store that stocks chaises in their showroom. I have to test the tushie quotient, you see. If the tushie isn't happy, I'm not sitting in it. No on-line chaise shopping for me. So off we go, piling into the car and heading out onto the highway. The six year old is happily be-bopping to They Might Be Giants on his PSP when suddenly he pauses. "Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"I farted."

Cue eleven year old's hysterical laughter. Why it's so funny that his baby brother cut the cheese is beyond me, but hey. I've never been an eleven year old boy, so what do I know?

I pinch the bridge of my nose and try not to breathe. Dear God in heaven, buffaloes smell sweeter. "Thank you for sharing. No. I mean it."

Dusty rolls down car window. Did I mention we were in the car? Note to self: check what I've been feeding that child. Oi.

Now that he's no longer so gassy, M begins making up lyrics to They Might Be Giants, who really didn't need the help.

R pauses his video game. I'm not sure which one it was, except he was muttering about building monsters and M seemed to know what he was talking about. "You know, I never realized how many forms Gabumon has."

"Huh?" I love it when Dusty gets that adorably confused look on his face. It happens so often recently.

"Huh?" I  echo, because he doesn't have a Digimon game and there is no Digimon currently in the car. Where did that come from?

"There's Punimon, who's pink and shoots acid bubbles. And jelly his friends can eat."

Already I can see Dusty's eyes glazing over. Which is bad, because he's driving.

"Then he digitizes into Tsunomon, who also blows bubbles, but they don't hurt anybody. Oh, and then there's Garurumon, and WereGarurumon."

"Don't forget Omnimon!" chimes in the six year old, who has gotten over his sudden burst of flatulence to join the conversation. He's been watching Digimon with his big brother, and I get the theme song stuck in my head for days at a time. The good news is Sunday morning it was kicked out by the chorus of Heat Miser, so I didn't have to suffer for long.

"Oh yeaaaah." R drawl. "It's cool when Gabumon digitizes into Omnimon."

"You guys might want to stop before Mommymon digitizes into MonsterMommymon. Grr."

The kids laugh, but it's that evil laugh that lets you know they aren't done yet. Oh no. You've ruined their Saturday by making them go furniture shopping. It's payback time.

"Patrick has a flag sticking out of his butt," giggles the six year old.

"Do you think Guilmon looks like a velociraptor? He's actually a virus."

M briefly stops humming One Dozen Monkeys. Did you know the twelfth monkey's name is Larry? I do. "Can we go to McDonalds? I love their french fries."

Now steam is beginning to come out of Dusty's ears. "You don't like anything else there, M." M has been begging shamelessly for french fries ever since we got into the car. Being a quarter Italian, every road trip must involve food somehow, no matter how short a drive it is. "Besides, we're going to Friendly's, remember?"

"But I LOVE their french fries, Daddy. Can we?"

"Guilmon digitizes into WarGrowlmon. It's his Ultimate form. He's kinda neat looking." R's head tilts. "Can we have pizza instead? I like Little Caesar's."

"We're doing pizza Monday night, remember? I already promised. So no pizza tonight." Visions of chaises are dancing in my head, so I don't realize that we're there. Besides, I can tune out Digimon faster than my kids can tune out a lecture, which is pretty damn fast from the way I've seen their eyes glaze over. I can tell they've already checked out before my lips even part.

"Aw man."

"Does Friendly's have french fries?"

"Yes, M. They do."

"Cool. Mommy?"

"Hmm?"

"I farted again."

R begins giggling hysterically again.

Dusty, wild-eyed, pulls into the JC Penney parking lot. Fifteen minutes locked in a car with his children and he's ready to bolt. "What are we here for again?"

"Furniture."

He sighs and gets out of the car, ready to release the kids into the wild of the shopping mall. "I could be running my monk through Thelanis again on elite. They're handing out extra experience right now."

"FRENCH FRIES!"

Next weekend we get to drive thirty minutes to furniture store. If I'm not back by Monday, check in McDonald's. I'll probably be buried under french fries and digital monkeys.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Caution: Dragon in the Grinder!


 Shane and Akane are officially in the Meat Grinder, meaning I'm going through the first round of rough edits before sending Artistic Visions off to the Beta readers. The word count goal is still 60k and I know I need to add a scene or two, so I should come really close to that goal (if not over it). I'm pretty happy with the way it turned out, but I noticed a few things on the rough read-through that really need to be addressed before it's ready for the Betas.

Once I'm out of the Grinder with Visions it will be time to plot my NaNoWriMo project, Howl for Me. Jeff and Fenris are already beginning to, well, howl for me. I'm going to re-read both Very Much Alive and Eye of the Beholder to get me in the proper, godly frame of mind. Then I get to do some research on Fenris and his part in Ragnarrok, and how that will affect the Grimms. 


Fenris, for his part, will be trying to convince Jeff that fuzzy is the new black.

For those of you who are thinking of doing NaNoWriMo (or thinking "What the hell is NaNoWriMo?"), check out their website! November is the NAtional NOvel WRIting MOnth, and both professional and aspiring authors take a whack at it. Writing a 50,000 word novel in four weeks is a hell of a challenge, but that challenge made me write Noble Blood and have it ready for submission to an editor in less than six weeks. Here's hoping that I do as well with Jeff and Fenris as I did with Duncan, Jaden and Moira.

After that, it's my yearly break for the holidays as family and friends get together, children have off from school and I have my Mommy hat firmly tied down with green and red ribbons. After the holidays I'm looking at Julian and Cyn, who are looking back just as hard and tapping their feet impatiently. In fact, I'm not sure who I'm looking forward to writing more: Jeff from Howl for Me or Julian from Cynful!

Last but not least, I'll be at The Romance Studio's Release Party today starting at 1 p.m. EST and ending at 8 p.m. EST! Hope to see you there!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Release of Eye of the Beholder, True Destiny Book 2

Eye of the Beholder is out! The buy link is live on My Bookstore and More. I'll update my purchase links as they become available, but damn! Jamie and Travis are finally OUT!

EDIT: The Amazon Kindle link is live and up on my website! 

 

ISBN: 978-1-60928-227-1
Length: Category
Price: 4.50
Publication Date: October 19, 2010
Cover art by Angie Waters

Justice isn’t blind anymore.

True Destiny, Book 2

Travis Yardley-Rudiger deliberately stayed away from Jamie Grimm, desperate not to pull her into the petty war of wills between him and her grandfather, Oliver Grimm. Unfortunately the reemergence of Baldur and Loki and their claiming of Jamie’s sister Jordan put her squarely in Grimm’s sights. Her torture at Grimm’s hands left Travis determined to claim and protect the woman he’s loved for years—but first he has to find a way to break the news that Travis is actually Tyr.

Jamie keeps seeing the weirdest things. Flames in her sister’s eyes, for instance…even Travis’s entire body glowing. Then there are the recurring nightmares she just can’t shake. One thing is certain: Travis’s usual standoffish attitude has done an abrupt one-eighty. He’s even gone so far as to move with her into her sister’s condo while she convalesces. And when he reveals who—and what—he is, Jamie is left to wonder what the Norse God of Justice could possibly want with a crazy redhead with severe family issues.

As far as he’s concerned, it will be Travis’s pleasure to show her…

Warning: This book contains explicit sex, graphic language, a real blond god and a woman with reasons to have trust issues.

Jamie limped into the condo on Travis’s arm, staring around at the white on blue d├ęcor, the pale maple floors and the huge wall of windows with no drapes or shades of any kind. She had no clue what her sister saw in it. It was so…sterile, and the three lovers were anything but, yet she knew Jordan loved the look of the place. She grimaced at the thought of her sister with the two men. When Jordan decided to do something, she didn’t do it half-way. She’d fallen for both the bad boy and the angel, and fallen hard. Jamie was just glad both men returned her sister’s feelings, because if they hadn’t, they’d have her to deal with.

Jamie winced a bit as her damaged leg wobbled under her. She squeaked as Travis picked her up, but before she could really protest he had her in Jordan’s spare bedroom. He put her on top of the comforter, stroking her hair back when she gasped in pain.

“Sorry, Jamie. I’ll try to be gentler next time.”

Jamie nodded. She understood. No matter how she moved everything still hurt. She didn’t blame Travis at all.

She blamed Grimm.

Kir deposited their luggage inside the door before pulling it closed with a smile.

“I’m going to get your pain medicine, okay?”

Before she could protest Travis was out the door, that fine, fine ass of his flexing most temptingly in his blue jeans. She closed her eyes before she made a complete fool of herself. It wasn’t like he wanted that kind of attention from her, anyway. She’d seen the women he’d dated and not one of them had red hair.

She’d built so many daydreams around him, it was sickening. No other man had ever come close to measuring up to him. Jamie had loved him since the first day she saw him. He’d stood there, staring at her and Jeff, his blond hair streaked by the sun instead of a salon. His neatly trimmed beard couldn’t hide his full mouth or firm chin. His blue eyes had been both startled and, ultimately, full of amusement as she and Jeff told him off for stealing their big sister away from them. He’d thanked them for telling him his shirt was wrong and his tie was crooked, then sat down and asked them their opinions on what clothes he should buy. She’d been charmed at being treated like a lady by such a handsome man. She hadn’t even shrieked at him once, and she’d totally planned on it the moment he put them down. But Travis never did. He treated everyone with respect, and earned that respect back tenfold.

She’d dreamed of him every night since. She’d probably dream of him until the day she died, no matter how much she might wish otherwise. But those dreams had changed recently. Now he rescued her from Grimm instead of asking her on a date.

She was pretty sure that was the only reason she was still sane.

Working for Guardian Investigations was both heaven and hell. She got to see him and talk to him every single day. That was heaven.

Hell was seeing the women he dated and knowing that there was no way she could ever measure up.

Soon after coming to work for Travis she’d seen him with his girlfriend of the time, Karen. The way he’d held her, stroking her through the thin silk blouse she’d had on, his hand drifting down to the blonde’s ass, had broken her heart. The heat in his eyes when he’d looked at Karen had been intense. The friendly regard he’d turned on Jamie had been horrible. The smug, satisfied look on the blonde had been worse.

She’d gone out with her boyfriend that night, gotten tipsy and finally given him her virginity. It hadn’t been bad, actually. Some of it felt pretty good. They’d gotten comfortable with one another, or so she thought.

When she’d found Tim cheating on her she hadn’t been as heartbroken as she probably should have been. That was when she knew no other man would ever measure up to Travis. She’d given up looking soon after that, kicking Tim’s ass to the curb, much to her father’s relief. Fred Grimm had never approved of him.

“Here.”

She jumped. She must have dozed off, because Travis was standing over her with her pill and a glass of water clutched in his hand. “Mmm. Thanks.” She sat up gingerly, easing herself against the pillows. He handed her the pill and she took it, making a face as it stuck halfway down.

“Logan’s going to bring you something to eat in a few minutes. When you’re done eating I want you to get some sleep.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Yes, Daddy.”

He shuddered. “Please don’t call me that.”

She shrugged and tried to smirk, knowing it looked more like a grimace but not caring. “It’s better than Pita.”

“That’s debatable.” He turned as Logan carried in a tray with a bowl of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich on it and frowned. “That’s it? That’s what you’re feeding her?”

“Yes.” Logan placed the tray on her lap, winking at her.

“Hell, I can open a can of soup and make a grilled cheese. I thought you were actually going to cook.”

“Obviously your mother never made you the perfect sick foods before.” Jamie dug into the soup with gusto. The almost painful bite of the soup had her groaning in pleasure. “Oh, lord, Jordan told you?”

“Yup. Happy, Pita?”

She ate another spoonful of the sinfully spiced soup and sighed. “Practically orgasmic.” She ignored Travis’s growl and happily ate her soup, stopping every now and then to take a bite of the ultra-gooey grilled cheese.

“Are those jalapeno peppers in your soup?”

She looked up into Travis’s horrified face. “Oh yeah.”

“And grilled pepper jack cheese?”

She bit into the sandwich with as much gusto as her broken face would allow. “Mmm-hmm.” She licked her lips, moaning in cheesy ecstasy.

A dark flush crept up Travis’s cheeks. He cleared his throat. “Isn’t that bad for someone who’s sick? Aren’t you supposed to eat bland food?”

She looked at him blankly. “I’m already hurting. Why suffer more than I absolutely have to?” She finished her soup and handed the tray back to Logan with as sweet a smile as she could muster. “Thank you, Logan.”

He smiled down at her, his fondness for her written all over his face. “You’re welcome, Pita.”

She finished off the water and handed the empty glass to Travis, who took it with a frown. She yawned, snuggling down against the pillow, the pain pill making her sleepy again. “Night, Travis.”

“Night, Pita.”

She smiled, her eyes closed as she began drifting off to sleep. The gentle kiss she imagined against her lips sent her into sweet dreams where Travis actually wanted a crazy, pushy redhead for his own.

Monday, October 18, 2010

CONTEST WINNER

And the winner of the download of Eye of the Beholder is...



TEENA M! 
Congratulations, Teena!You should have received an email by now; if you haven't let me know!

For those who didn't win, remember I'm hosting a chat at the Samhain Cafe tonight from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. EST. I'll be giving away a copy there too, so if you can, try to stop by and toss your name in the hat!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Feh

Well. I started out the week with a whimper.

Okay, so I go to my parents' house for a family pot-luck, sandwich style. Everyone BYOS and prepare to share with the rest of the class style dining at it's finest. I hand out birthday presents, chat with family, watch a little Mythbusters and have a good time despite M's nosebleed that scared almost everyone. Little M bleeds like mad when he gets one, so my main concern was that his nose hadn't broken when Princcess SR's head hit his face. Luckily, no one was seriously injured, and M was back on the trampoline within fifteen minutes.

We head home, and Dusty and I are chatting about our work schedules. We miss the turn light has changed, and Dusty slams on his brakes to avoid hitting someone (which we did... avoid them, that is). This sends a shot of adrenaline through my system that, combined with some stuff that's going on at home and stressing me out a bit (renovations, the upcoming holidays, that sort of thing) triggers my favorite thing: a migraine.

Yay.

I felt nauseous and wanted to bury my head in concrete before we ever made it home Sunday night. I took some Imitrex (they upped my dosage and if I take it early enough now it stops the migraine), but by the time I got to it the headache had already taken root. So I took yesterday off and played possum. I got the nausea under control and was hoping the migraine would fade within a day or two.

Then R decides he's going to the wrestling tryouts at school and forgets to tell us he's not going to be on the afternoon bus.

Thirty stark, terrified minutes later we find out he'll be put on a bus by the gym teacher when tryouts are over. I'm shaking like a leaf, ready to vomit and kill my oldest child all at the same time. And M, who usually comes barreling in the house at full throttle, must have sensed the imminent damage his brother was about to face because he was sweet and, most importantly, quiet when he got home.

If you know M, you know he's never quiet. Sweet, definitely, but quiet? Maybe during the Zombie Apocalypse and that's only because he doesn't want to get eaten first.

So the migraine is back at square one, with me fighting nausea today and trying to stay out of the light sort of like a Mogwai. And don't feed me after midnight, especially sandwiches.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

What's In A Name?


Parker and Amara's book title has been chosen! Blood of the Maple will be out in Spring 2011. The excerpt page is up on my website and can be gotten to from either the cover above or by going to the Coming Soon page of my website.

Or...


You could check out this (UNEDITED) glimpse into Parker's witchy past...



Prologue

The California Desert, Some Time In The 1960’s …

“You know, my friend told me you were a witch, but I didn’t know he meant it literally.”

Parker clutched the bars of his cage and stared at the hippie chick he’d shagged just a few nights before. Damn, she’d been a sweet piece, too, tasty on the inside and the outside. A rare combination, and one he’d planned on sampling again before moving on. She had the sweetest hazel eyes he’d ever seen, and a mouth that could suck-start a Cadillac.

Too bad she’d taken exception to his little dalliance with the daisy-crowned flower child the night before. He’d been caught with his fangs down, and now the little witch was going to extract some freaky revenge. From the way her huge cauldron bubbled he wouldn’t be surprised if she tried to boil him alive.

“I worked pretty hard to get you into my bed.”

Parker blinked. He didn’t know if he should be flattered or terrified.

Never mind. He knew. Terrified. She stirred the mess in the cauldron and it was all he could do not to scream like a little girl. Okay, more terrified. He might be a vampire, hunter of the night and all around bad-ass, but a woman who felt scorned was still fucking scary. “You did?”

“Mm-hmm.” She tossed something he couldn’t see into the bubbling goo. The stench coming from it was foul beyond comprehension. What the hell had she put in there? And was it going to touch any part of him? He didn’t think there was enough tomato juice in the world to get that scent washed off.

“I’m flattered.” He thought back. He’d first caught sight of her dancing around a bonfire during one of the numerous parties his friends had thrown. She’d looked utterly edible and smelled divine. “I remember you dancing.”

She smiled like he’d handed her a gilded rose. “Yes!” She drifted by him, her voice dreamy, her expression serene. “I called you to me. You couldn’t resist my allure.”

Someone needs to stop taking the brown acid. “Look, it was nice and all, but—”

“Nice!”

Parker shook his head, his ears ringing. Damn, she could shriek.

“I let you into my temple and you desecrated it!”

Oh now, hold on a moment. “You begged me to ‘desecrate’ it!”

She pointed the sharp end of her white handled knife at him. “You cheated on me.”

He was starting to get annoyed. “You have to be in a relationship to cheat. All we did was party together. Horizontally.”

Her eyes teared up. “I thought I meant something to you.”

Aw shit. Humor the crazy lady. “We did.” He grasped the bars and rattled them. He still didn’t understand why he couldn’t just mist and drift through them, but when he’d tried he’d almost passed out from the pain. “We still could.”

She nodded eagerly. “Yes. And to make sure it never happens again, I’ve come up with a plan.”

Uh-oh. He gaped. “Excuse me?”

“Don’t worry, my love. You’ll never need to feed off of anyone else ever again.”

He felt the blood drain from his face. “You know?” When he’d thought about being caught with his fangs down he hadn’t meant it literally. How could she have found out? Like all vampires, he’d made sure the feeding was obscured in her mind. All she should have remembered was a sharp nip, the only physical reminder a tiny hickey.

Greg could have warned him if her lack of memory loss was due to her being a real witch.

Oh wait. Greg had warned him, to, as he put it, “Stay away from the crazy.” Too bad he he’d listened to his prick instead of his best friend.

She turned back to the cauldron bubbling away on her campfire. The smell coming from it was truly vile. “That you’re a Nosferatu?”

He winced. “I prefer vampire, myself.” Nosferatu made him think of that spindly, ugly-ass guy in the black and white film. Parker might not be Tony Curtis, but he sure as hell wasn’t that guy either.

She gave him the sweet smile that had led him to her bed. “Of course. I’ll remember that.”

“Thanks.” When her back was turned he gave his attention once more to the iron bars of his cage. He twisted the ones behind him, bending them slightly. He’d been working on it for an hour or more. Normally breaking out of one of these cages wouldn’t be a problem, but she’d done something to the cage, something… magical? Whatever she’d done, the bars were extremely difficult to break. “So, what do you have planned?”

“Nothing much. I’m just going to change your diet.”

He choked. “What?”

She grinned over her shoulder at him, her whole body glowing eerily. It wasn’t a reflection of the firelight on her skin, either. This was serious magic. “I’m going to make you unable to drink from anyone but me.”

This was getting too creepy. “That would kill you. You know that, right?” Besides, why the hell would he want to be tied down to one woman for eternity? The idea was revolting. It was unnatural. It was against the vampire code of ethics or something. He couldn’t live off of her. She wasn’t his singele sotiei, his blood wife. Only his blood wife could sustain him the way Terri was talking about.

She dipped a golden goblet into the green goo in the cauldron. “When I’m done, the only one you’ll ever need will be me.” She turned towards him, the goblet balanced between her hands. “It’s time, my love.”

“Oh fuck me.” Parker turned his back to her and began kicking at the bars of his cage. Whatever the witch had planned, it couldn’t be good.

“Here. Drink this and we will be together forever.”

No way. Parker turned and knocked the goblet out of her hand. The liquid inside sloshed, some landing on him, some on her. The dark green looked almost pretty against her skin.

She looked at him and smiled. “I love you.”

Then the pain hit, and Parker couldn’t do anything but scream.

Favorite Quotes

"I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability." Ron White

"So let me get this straight. You want me to kill the little guys, kill the big guys, crowd control those I can't, buff the team, debuff the boss, keep myself alive, AND keep you alive, all while waving a stick and dressed in a towel?" - Anonymous Role Playing Gamer

"I think that statue over there is a statement on modern life. The statement is, "Well, shit." - Varric, Dragon Age II

"Why is it all claws and guns? Can't we piss off a fuzzy planet? Still dangerous, but hey. Bunnies." - Joker, Mass Effect

"Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?" - Dilbert


"Aim at the high mark and you will hit it. No, not the first time, not the second time and maybe not the third. But keep on aiming and keep on shooting for only practice will make you perfect. Finally you'll hit the bull's-eye of success." - Annie Oakley

"It is only when you fall that you learn whether you can fly." - Flemeth, aka The Witch of the Wilds, Dragon Age 2

"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.'” - George Carlin

"I hear there's a wild bridge tournament down the street. And you know Bridge. It's a lot like sex. If you don't have a great partner, you'd better have a good hand." Barry Weiss, Storage Wars

"You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe." - Marcus Cole, Babylon 5, "A Late Delivery From Avalon"

"I aim to misbehave." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

“If you think you can or think you cannot, you are correct.” - Henry Ford