Monday, February 17, 2014

Sound Effects

Dusty was recently diagnosed with tinnitis, a condition where he hears sound when none is present, accompanied by mild hearing loss. ("See, dear? I really CAN'T hear you ask me to take out the trash!")

Most of the time he can deal with it, but at night, when all is quiet, it can get very annoying, to the point it interferes with his ability to fall asleep. His doctor recommended that he try white noise generators. My husband went looking for "white noise" and found two he really likes that seem to work.

One is the sound of rushing wind that makes me think of snowstorms. Since Delaware can get very windy, this doesn't bother me in the least.

The other one, though...

The other one...

Well, let's just say that there are certain consequences to being over forty.

The other night Dusty found it difficult to fall asleep, so he turned on the other noise. So I'm cuddled under the blankets, half asleep, when I hear the faintest whisper, the dulcet tones, the sound of the life-blood of the world.

Yup. Water.

Do you know what happens to an over-forty woman when she's curled up in bed, half asleep, and hears water? It goes something like this:


Well, that's pleasant. I can sleep to that.


I should probably ask him to turn it down. It's a little loud.


There's this sudden pressure...


A slowly growing need...


One that cannot be denied.

Damn it. I have to pee.

Of course, you argue with yourself. You just went, what, ten minutes ago? Not even a tiny pee-sized bladder could fill that quickly. But, no. The urge is there, and you'd better get your butt out of bed and on the toilet, because it's not going to let up any time soon. You certainly aren't going to sleep until your bladder is appeased. So off you go, grumbling under your breath, park your behind on the freezing toilet seat and learn that trickle down doesn't only apply to economics, because really, bladder? Really? You bugged me for six drops?

Ugh.

So you clean up, climb back under the nice warm covers, and soon...





Duuude.. You have got to be kidding me.

Meanwhile, your husband is lying there, wondering why the hell you're cursing his family to the umpteenth generation, totally forgetting they're your kids, too, because when you gotta go, you gotta go, but damn it you just WENT! 

Sigh.

So it's off to the toilet once more, where, suprise, suprise, the only thing that happens is you stub your toe on the cat.


You climb back into bed, wondering how quickly you'll be hopping back out again, when the hubby says, "You know, I can't sleep. I think I'll try the other noise."

Ah, the sweet sound of wind, sweet, sweet... wait...

As you turn over, you stare at your beloved and ask, "Did you just fart?"


Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Winner and New Release: Bear Naked

The winner of an ARC of Bear Naked is...


Halle Shifters Book 3
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Length: Novel
ISBN: 978-1-61921-838-3

To win a frightened heart, you have to bare your own.

Any woman would be eager to be Ryan Williams’s mate. Any woman but Glory Walsh. The sexy bear shifter is beautiful, strong and persistent, she’ll give him that. But Glory’s past taught her one simple truth: people leave. She can’t get past the fact he left her once before. Okay, so he had a good reason, and he did come back. Try convincing her emotions.

When Glory finally agrees to a date, Ryan feels like shouting hallelujah. He only left his mate to hunt down the man who’d shot her, but convincing the stubborn woman she has a permanent place at his side is tougher than he thought.

Their date takes a turn for the bizarre when Glory thanks Ryan for the series of romantic gifts—gifts Ryan never sent. It seems her past is coming back to bite her, and before it has a chance to sink its teeth in and tear her out of his life, Ryan will have to bare it all, right down to his soul, to protect the woman he loves. Even from herself.

Warning: This title contains explicit sex, graphic language, a blue-haired heroine, and a hero who isn’t afraid to get all kinds of naked.

TRACEY! 

Congratulations, Tracey! Your book is in your inbox.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

COVER PRETTY: The Wizard King


Genre: Paranormal Romance
Length: Novel
ISBN: 978-1-61921-975-5
Release Date: June 17, 2014

The toughest battle he’s ever faced is convincing her she’s the queen of his soul.


Gareth Beckett takes the wizard throne in three days, and the woman who stole his heart is missing. Hoping with everything in him that it will call her back to his side, he casts the Beckett mate spell.

One minute, Genevieve Godwin is knocking on Gareth’s door to tell him she’s had a vision warning of a threat to his life. The next, she’s pinned to his sofa, trying to explain her recent absence to one very irate werewolf wizard.

Ever since Gen was forced to use her warlock powers to save him, he’s barely made eye contact. And now he wants her to be his queen? She’s a Hecate’s Own, not a princess. Her place is on the trail of evil—especially her own brothers—to bring them to justice, not sipping tea and making small talk.

Gareth is determined to keep her at his side, and not only to keep her safe. Between scheming courtiers, the threat of the Godwin brothers and Gen’s insistence that she be allowed to continue her work as one of Hecate’s Own, Gareth is about to lose his mind. It will take a powerful combination of witch, wizard and warlock to stop the magical coup d’├ętat that could destroy them all.

Warning: This title contains explicit sex, graphic language, and a king who can’t live without his queen.

Favorite Quotes

"I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability." Ron White

"So let me get this straight. You want me to kill the little guys, kill the big guys, crowd control those I can't, buff the team, debuff the boss, keep myself alive, AND keep you alive, all while waving a stick and dressed in a towel?" - Anonymous Role Playing Gamer

"I think that statue over there is a statement on modern life. The statement is, "Well, shit." - Varric, Dragon Age II

"Why is it all claws and guns? Can't we piss off a fuzzy planet? Still dangerous, but hey. Bunnies." - Joker, Mass Effect

"Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?" - Dilbert


"Aim at the high mark and you will hit it. No, not the first time, not the second time and maybe not the third. But keep on aiming and keep on shooting for only practice will make you perfect. Finally you'll hit the bull's-eye of success." - Annie Oakley

"It is only when you fall that you learn whether you can fly." - Flemeth, aka The Witch of the Wilds, Dragon Age 2

"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.'” - George Carlin

"I hear there's a wild bridge tournament down the street. And you know Bridge. It's a lot like sex. If you don't have a great partner, you'd better have a good hand." Barry Weiss, Storage Wars

"You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe." - Marcus Cole, Babylon 5, "A Late Delivery From Avalon"

"I aim to misbehave." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

“If you think you can or think you cannot, you are correct.” - Henry Ford