MU + DMB 4Evar! Plus, 25% Done on Sound's Familiar

I watch way, way too many makeup tutorials.

Like, a lot.

So today, having been inspired by god knows what (I think I was picturing Dita von Teese), I decided to have some fun and try doing winged eyeliner.

Two things you need to know before I go any further:

A) I have very hooded eyes, meaning that when my eyes are open, you can't really see my "mobile lid" unless I put a very light colored eyeshadow on it;

and B) I haven't done winged eyeliner since I was in my twenties.

Stephanie Lange does a great video about winged eyeliner do's and don'ts

Eep.

So effort #1 required micellar water and a lot of cursing to remove. No, I didn't photograph it. I didn't think to. Plus, the horror may have been too much for a Wednesday afternoon in August.

I know. Bad blogger. No cookie for you.

Thank the gods for Tarte Shape Tape and patience or I'd look like a racoon today. Instead, I turned out looking like this:

You can barely see the wings I spent *coughwheezewaytoomuch* time on, but they are there, damn it. Since you can't see them with my glasses on, I went ahead and took a pic without my glasses.

I think I like the glasses better, since they hide a multitude of my blending sins. Also, try to ignore my janky lips. I love this color (ColourPop's LAX, a matte lipstick, with Essence's XXXL Shine lipgloss in Pretty in Hibiscus on top), but my lipstick got smeared after a certain kitty decided he wanted love. Trying to pick white cat hairs out of lipstick is a bitch, let me tell you.

So I showed Dusty the fruits of my makeup labors (pre-kitty hairs), asking his opinion on my first winged eyeliner look in years. He replied, "You remind me of Lily Munster."

I can't think looking like Yvonne De Carlo is a bad thing under any circumstances, so I'll take it as a win.

P.S.: Work on Sound's Familiar is going slowly, but it is going. It has more to do with the weather and my health than the story. Both Jonah and Carol are speaking clearly to me, and I've hit the quarter done mark, so YAY! Most of the research/initial world building is done, so things should go much quicker now. I look forward to sharing this new world of magic, familiars, elves and demons with you.

P.P.S.: Try NYX eyeshadows. They're pigmented as hell and the price-point is spot-on. Also, Ulta often has NYX products buy one get one half-off, so take advantage of those sales!

P.P.P.S.: My favorite makeup "gurus". These are the ones who I'm like, "Oooh, a new video is up!":

Tati Westbrook: https://www.youtube.com/user/GlamLifeGuru
Laura Lee: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKMugoa0uHpjUuq14yOpagw
Manny MUA (yes, it's a dude): https://www.youtube.com/user/MannyMua733
Emily Noel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtC8m_F7jX2fGOQ3_nomg4g
Angie aka HotandFlashy: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU9rHRAeSzi--j1jkXQ47RA
Mariah Leonard: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQPnuUWSIzpdEN0R9pYRScg
MesiJesiBeauty: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAU_EjJwgb9qxGgDMidRMZg
Zabrena: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwQ48S6LdJVdGUM27M0oy4w

Honorable Mention: SimplyNailogical, because I LOVE her videos and her nails: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGCVyTWogzQ4D170BLy2Arw

Beta Readers, WIPs, Print Books and Cover Pretties

Gods, it sounds like a lot to go over from the title of this post, but really there isn't that much to discuss.

Hide and Seek is with my beta readers now. Once they're done with it I'll hire an editor to go over it and polish it up for publication.

As for my current projects, I've got...two? Yeah, two going on, and one that needs to be outlined.

First, I've got Hour of the Wolf back from my MIL with lots of notes for me to go over. Hopefully, the fresh perspective will allow me to fix the problems and finish the novel.

Second, I've started a series for Entangled's Otherworld line called Terra Noctem. The first novel in the series is called Sound's Familiar. I've got the novel outlined and I've started working on it, but I still have some research to do before the novel gets into the full swing of things. I love creating new worlds and getting ideas on how it should (and shouldn't) work. (Plus I promised someone months ago that I'd start this series "soon", and I hate breaking a promise.)

Thirdly, I've started a rough outline of Hope in Darkness. I know a lot of you are waiting for this one, and I promise that it's coming. It's going to be darker than a lot of my other novels due to Hope's ongoing issues and Jamie's... erm... insanity. I need to maybe binge watch Dexter to wrap my brain around poor Jamie.

Man, that's a lot of stuff already.

Okay. Print books. I'm working on that. I need to figure out how to make ebook covers become print book covers, since all I got from Samhain were the ebook covers (it's all they had to give me, so it wasn't their fault). Once I figure out sizing, trim, etc. I'll start my print publications.

Lastly, I have a cover pretty to share with you! It's the cover for Speak Thy Name, the third Nephilim book! I've already shared it on Facebook, but I know not everyone follows me there so I thought I'd share it here as well.

This Nephilim book will be going to print as I'm self-publishing this series from now on. Paper & Sage did the cover art, and they did a beautiful job with it. I'll definitely use them again.

Anything else? Hmmm... Anything I might have been holding out on you guys?

Oh, yeah. That's right. I have the cover for Hide and Seek already.

The wonderful Angela Waters did this cover. It made sense to ask her, as she's done all of the True Destiny covers up till now. Another amazing cover artist I adore and will use again.

So, that's it! I hope everyone has a lovely weekend!

An FYI

I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm still here, and I'm still working. I just finished the final rough draft of More Than Words and it's with my beta readers now. I've started work on Hour of the Wolf, the next Maggie's Grove series. And I'm in talks to start a new series at Entangled Press, but that's for after I finish Hour of the Wolf.

See, I'm still here, still standing, and still trying to figure out my life post-Samhain. Mostly. The weather in my area has been beastly, with rain, rain, and a little rain thrown in for good measure. It's slowed me down, but it hasn't stopped me. Not yet, anyway.

I've also got plans for another series (I'm addicted, I tell you! Addicted!), but it's still way in the planning stage and I haven't gotten very far with it. As with everything else, I need to do some world-building to get everything straight as far as the paranormal rules go, and what I can and cannot do.

As far as the rest of my books, I've gotten advice on what to do with my series that are completed and may not be wanted by a new publisher. I'm giving it some thought, discussing it with Dustin, and will let you know what my ultimate decision will be. The others are still kind of in limbo, and that's all I can say about it at the moment.

So don't worry, guys. Everything will be just fine. Right?

Right.

New Release and New Look

First off, let's address the new look! Ms. Kendra of Creations by Kendra made me a beautiful new logo.

You like? I do!

Now, because I'm not nearly as good as she is, my blog is kind of...messed up. I'm working on figuring out how to fix it, so bear with me while I remember my HTML. Trust me, I hate that tiling background thingie as much as you do. I want a nice, smooth background like my website has.

I'll figure it out. It might involve some cursing, chocolate, and lots of sobbing, but it will get done.


Second, I have a NEW RELEASE TODAY!

The Wizard King

Heart's Desire Book 3

Genre: Paranormal Romance

Length: Novel

ISBN: 978-1-61921-975-5

The toughest battle he’s ever faced is convincing her she’s the queen of his soul.

Gareth Beckett takes the wizard throne in three days, and the woman who stole his heart is missing. Hoping with everything in him that it will call her back to his side, he casts the Beckett mate spell.

One minute, Genevieve Godwin is knocking on Gareth’s door to tell him she’s had a vision warning of a threat to his life. The next, she’s pinned to his sofa, trying to explain her recent absence to one very irate werewolf wizard.

Ever since Gen was forced to use her warlock powers to save him, he’s barely made eye contact. And now he wants her to be his queen? She’s a Hecate’s Own, not a princess. Her place is on the trail of evil—especially her own brothers—to bring them to justice, not sipping tea and making small talk.

Gareth is determined to keep her at his side, and not only to keep her safe. Between scheming courtiers, the threat of the Godwin brothers and Gen’s insistence that she be allowed to continue her work as one of Hecate’s Own, Gareth is about to lose his mind. It will take a powerful combination of witch, wizard and warlock to stop the magical coup d’état that could destroy them all.

Warning: This title contains explicit sex, graphic language, and a king who can't live without his queen.

As far as I can tell all of the buy links are live!

Who Knew?

That getting ready for a cruise could be such a pain in the hiney?

I spent most of yesterday doing the "pre-boarding" check-in that has to be done prior to three days before the cruise, picking drink and food packages, double-checking that, no, my scooter will NOT be a problem for the cruise line and making sure that any land-sea excursions, which cost more than the birth of my firstborn by the way, are all lined up and accessible by wheelchair.

Pantpantpantpant.

I think I did more paperwork for a four day vacation than I did for the mortgage on my house.

The cruise we're taking is a family reunion on Dusty's side, so we're also making sure that we don't forget to meet and greet there as well. And thank God I bought a back-up dress for the formal reunion dinner. The one I originally planned to wear needs some alterations and I just don't have time to go get them done. (I can't sew. I'm about as crafty as a doberman pinscher.) Suits had to be bought for little boy bodies and one man body, causing much moaning and groaning in the Bell household. But the major indignity the poor males in the house had to suffer through?

Shoe shopping. Yup, none of them had dress shoes. I've heard less complaining at my local Pathmark ("What do you mean you only have on cashier on a Saturday?"). At this point I'd happily trade the paperwork for the shoe shopping.

Whaddya say, sweetheart? Want to trade?

Anyway, I'll be without internet from October 15 through the 19th. Despite my grumbling about the paperwork I'm really looking forward to this. It's two firsts for me: I've never been on a cruise and I've never been to the Bahamas. I'll make sure I take lots of pictures to post so you can see my pasty self under a palm tree. I figure with my pale skin I'll be bright red in about .3 seconds!

Guess What I Did?

Guess what I spent all day yesterday doing? (Have I mentioned I hate HTML?) Yup, I changed the look of my blog and website.

Why, do you ask? Well, when you've been hit upside the head with what my friends call "The Mackerel of Truth" you need to take a good, hard look at how you can fix things. And just about every poll and blog out there claims that people prefer dark text on a lighter background. Some have even said that they'll see the dark background/light text and immediately leave the website.

Not exactly what I want to hear, but it is that stinky mackerel and I have to listen.

Small problem: I'm so not changing my "logo" (the eyes, love the eyes!), which means that the background MUST remain black or it looks kinda... dorky. I took a look at some other blogs and websites, and decided that a compromise was in order: starry background and header with gray text boxes, the color pulled from the "clouds and moon" image you'll see on the website. Voila! A new look, and still well within the "Dance with an alpha in the pale moonlight..." theme I'm trying to go for.

I'm not sure if it meets with what the people want to see, but the text is now dark on a lighter background. Let me know what you think; I'm still willing to adjust things if people really hate it.

P.S.: Six days to RT AND Steel Beauty!

Tax Time... Ugh

You know, I thought I was more organized. I had my medical, W-2's, 1099's, etc., all neatly in a file on my desk. Everything else was all over the place, but my tax stuff? Totally accessible. I like to file as early as possible, so I usually start mid-February just to make sure I have all of the documents I could possibly need.

I was wrong.

My husband, bless his heart, reminded me that I needed to pull up all the documents for my business. You know, my writer stuff? Flyers and bookmarks and business cards and ebook purchases? That stuff.

Gah. I have the one doc, the official doc that says I got paid and how much, but now I have to hunt up receipts for things. Receipts that, like little tiny lost butterflies, have landed on the sticky fly paper trap of my desk and died, little crinkled wings fluttering, because I don't USE my regular desk anymore, I use a computer cart and a laptop. And everyone knows the one flat surface in the house that doesn't get used is the one flat surface that doesn't stay empty for long.

Sob.

Why oh why didn't I file things? It's going to take me the rest of the day to collect all that stuff, scan it in, zip it and send it off. Luckily I'm not doing the taxes this year, so that will essentially end my involvment, but still. Ugh.

The one bright, shiny thing? The picture up there? That's not MY desk. Someone out there is worse off than me. But honestly? Not by much.

So it's off to tax land, meaning Mr. Mage and his Heart's Desire will have to wait until tomorrow for the rest of their story. The good news is that the rough draft is almost complete. I think it's pretty good, but we'll see what my betas have to say once its been through the Meat Grinder. After that I have to fix Bunny's little red wagon, and then? Possibly book 3 of True Destiny or book 2 of The Gray Court (which has been whispering to me fairly loudly. Sidhe, vampire and leprechaun, oh my.)

Isn't it always when the muse whispers loudest that you have to ignore it? Oh well, as Scarlett said, tomorrow is another day. Hopefully it will be filled with fewer paper cuts and cuss words.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation...

1. Managed not to kill the children and eat them.
2. Went to Disney World and discovered the wonderful power of the Electronic Scooter. Whee!
3. Discovered that pre-school in my area costs an arm, leg, and your soul.
4. Dyed my hair blue, then purpley-pink.
5. ...

So, are you wondering about number 4? Wanna see?

Before you shake your heads and sigh (like my mother) or say, "What the hell did you do to your hair?!?" (like my father) or tell me "You know, this is why I get paid to do hair" (like my sister), just remember, they already said it.

Manic Panic Ultra-Violet was the first one I tried, and it came out blue. Then, after two washes, it just came out. So I don't have any pictures, since it was in my hair long enough to for me to wonder, how do purple and red make blue?

Manic Panic Vampire Red, however, seems to be sticking around for the duration. As fuschia. NOT red. Although Dusty will argue with his dying breath that it's light red, not pink, because real men don't say pink.

Now, I won't lie to you: I had hoped the purple would stick, because I really wanted purple streaks in my hair. But I promised my oldest boy (who detests purple) that I would give the red a try.

Well, son, I tried it. Hope you like pink. (And don't listen to your father OR grandfather... fuchsia is PINK!)

I Have Seen The Future, And It Is Vista

"Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated."

Every machine in my house runs Windows XP. All of them, that is, except my shiny new laptop.

Installing a new OS is never fun, since you have to go and make sure you have drivers for your hardware. Otherwise you have a lovely, if rather large, and expensive, coaster. Or a planter, if you're using a small desktop. If you're using a full size case, it can become a Barbie Brownstone!

Changing OS's from Vista to XP, however... yikes. It takes difficult and puts it in the realm of pulling someone, mind intact, from the Borg Collective. Pretty soon you'll be hearing Mac users screaming, "Windows VISTA? Oh noes! We've been assimilated!"

And trying to find those drivers? Most laptops no longer even offer drivers for XP, only for Vista, since Microsoft has decided to no longer support XP in favor of Vista. So in order to find drivers, I had to search the Internet. Y'know, ride the Information Highway down Route 404 Error to Driver Hell.

Google this: Dell Inspiron 1721 XP drivers. See what comes up. A lot of people complaining that they can't find drivers to switch back to XP!

I finally, after much searching and pulling of hair, learned that there ARE work-around's for this driverless sea I find myself in. It involves lying to your computer, and telling it it really isn't what it thinks it is, but something else that DOES have drivers for XP.

Thank you, God, for my live-in tech support, who's probably going to be screaming in no time at my poor, helpless, Borg-infested laptop.

Remind me to make him brownies when he's done. He'll deserve them.

The HTML Blues, Round Two

Today we learned the basics of hand-coding HTML in Notepad.

For some bizarre reason it worked a heck of a lot better than doing it in Word.

Le. Sigh.

I can see my future now, full of < /p >'s and <>'s.

However, I have a template that acutally works in Yahoo!Groups! YAY!

Mostly...

I mailed it to myself, and viola! No funky characters, no trademark infringements, and no urge to break out the melted cheddar dip. BUT (of course, you knew there was a but) the stupid Yahoo! advertisements cover half of the header.

My children are in the room. I shall refrain from the words that wish to drip, poisonous and vile, from my lips, since I've been working on this since ten a.m. (it's currently five-fifty p.m.).

Deep breaths. I'm going to recreate the testing group I'd made, and see if there's a way to turn OFF the ads. If not... if not, someone in YaHell is gonna get a size seven boot to the ass.

HTML... AKA, Hate This Muy Lots...

I've had some people ask me where they can sign up for my newsletter recently.

Newsletter? Uhhh.... Right! Let me get on that...

So I'm taking a class on how to build an HTML newsletter. The instructor, Ana Thierry, knows her stuff. I managed to get the newsletter built using Word, copying and pasting into my Yahoo!Group's HTML editor. I patted myself on the back, proud that I'd gotten that far, and mailed it out.

The pictures don't show up.

Gah.

Okay, figured out how to fix THAT little problem. The HTML thought the source file was the doc I'd used to create the newsletter, rather than the actual online location of the pictures. A little judicious cut and paste, and viola! The pictures appeared.

Then, this happened:

Emma Carter has been in love with Max Cannon since high school, but he barely knew she existed. Now she runs her own unique curio shop, and she’s finally come out her shell and into her own.

When Max returns to his small home town to take up his duties as the Halle Pride’s Alpha, he finds that shy little Emma has grown up. That small spark of something he’d always felt around the teenager has blossomed into something moreâ€"his mate!

Taking her “out for a bite†ensures that the luscious Emma will be permanently his.

But Max’s ex has plans of her own. Plans that don’t include Emma being around to interfere. To keep her Alpha, Emma must prove to the Pride that she has what it takes to be Max’s mate.

Is it me, or does that not look right?

Oh, it looks wonderful on the group. Colors are excellent, pictures show up beautifully. Email it out, however, and it falls like a bad souffle, made with mashed potatoes and tortilla strips.

(Damn you, Bravo, for your marathons! Now I'm addicted to Top Chef!)

Monica Burns, a really lovely lady who does her own banner ads in HTML, suggested that I copy the text unformatted into Word (because, duh, when I copy/pasted it from the Samhain website it was showing up as Normal (Web)). That should have fixed the problem.

Nope. Oy. It still looks like half the text is Trademarked. Somebody pass me the salsa.

Since I don't really speak the arcane language of HTML, I have to figure out why something that looks stunning on the Yahoo! group looks like absolute feces when I mail it out. It probably has to do with the way the Yahoo! group interprets the HTML code, or it adds something in, or subtracts something... or I'm talking out my butt and need help.

Hey, Ana? Ana? You still there?

HELP! My HTML has fallen... oh, never mind. No way I'm finishing that joke.

Fourteen Days

Doesn't seem like a lot, does it? Just two weeks.

Two weeks until I see The Wallflower on Samhain's New Releases page.

Holy. Moly.

It's already on the first page of the Coming Soon section, along with the other Cat Shifter stories. I'm watching it inch up the page, and the excitement is beginning to build.

It's a very strange feeling, knowing that the first story you've ever sold is finally going out to the public. There's a part of you that preens, looks a the cover, points and says, "I did that."

Then there's a part of you that just points, feels nauseous, and says, "OH, God, they're gonna hate it. What was I thinking?"

I don't know if those feelings will fade over time or not. My hope is... not. I figure if I ever get blase about a new release with my name on it, then I need to rethink what it is I'm doing. Oh, I know with some releases the feelings will be more intense, with others less so, but I hope it never goes completely away. I want to know that I love what I'm doing enough to have fits over the fact that it's going out into the public. And if that means a flip-floppy tummy and nerves of Twizzlers (which is about as far from steel as you can get), then I'll be a happy puppy.

On a lighter note, the Romantic Times Convention is coming up on April 16th, the day after Wallflower releases. I won't be going, unfortunately (maybe next year!), but I did send something of mine. I sent in prizes to be included in two of the RT baskets from Samhain: one for the Paranormal basket and one for the large Grand Prize basket.

I finally found a picture of the "pipe bomb"/incense holder I attempted to make for the Paranormal basket. Wanna see?



Oh, yeah. SO not Martha Stewart...

(What was I thinking?)

Stubbornness.... He Has It.

Before I start, let me give you a little background info:

I have two beautiful boys whom I love very much. The eldest turns nine (NINE! OMG!) this month; the other turns forty-seven... er, four, in June.

They are know respectively as Rotten and Evil. (Don't worry, they know it's a joke; they giggle when I call them that. In fact, I accidentally called Rotten Evil once, and he corrected me.)

Dusty and I have been attempting to potty train Evil. He is remarkably resistant to threats, bribes, and attempts to park him on "da toilet". He's gone so far as to do the "cat about to be dumped in the tub" splaying of limbs to keep me from putting him on "da toilet". So I've been trying to reason with him.

Yeah. I know. It's been... fun.

Here's a sample of our conversations with Mr. Four-Going-On-Forty-Seven:

Mommy: "Baby, wanna pee in da toilet?"
Evil: "No!"
Mommy: "Baby, c'mon. Go pee in da toilet."
Evil (in that tone of voice three year olds reserve for really dumb parents): "No. Dia. Per."
Mommy (sighing): "Sweetheart, do you want to ride the school bus?"
Evil (eyes lighting up, because anything Rotten does has got to be cool): "Yeah!"
Mommy: "Do you want to go to school like (insert real name here)?"
Evil: "Yeah!"
Mommy (triumphantly): "Then you have to pee in da toilet!"
Evil (tilts head, thinks for a moment): "I drink from cup first."

He goes, gets a red plastic cup, puts some water in it, and drinks like a pro.

Evil: "Now I go to school?"
Mommy (sounding remarkably like a three year old): "No, baby. You have to pee in da toi. Let!"
Evil: "No. Dia. Per!"

My mom said my first mistake was making it a dialog instead of stripping him nekkid and parking his butt on "da toilet".

When was the last time you tried to put a forty-two pound angry octopus somewhere it didn't want to go?

I even tried taking his favorite stuffed animal, affectionately known as Monkey, and having it go potty a 'la Dr. Phil.

He put a diaper on it.

Chatting at the Cafe

One month from Saturday, The Wallflower comes out. I'm already beginning to sense the massive amounts of excitement and anxiety I'm going to feel on that day.

Yes, I'm a worrier. Drives Dusty nuts.


I'm not sure if this feeling will fade over time, or if I'll feel this build-up with each and every novella, short story, and novel I put out there. I'm trying to distract myself with things like promotions, making sure my website is completely up to date, and writing in this blog.

Since I'm still working out the timing of when I should really begin promotions, I asked the one lady in the shifter anthologies who's been published before. So, on her advice (thanks, Marie! you've been so patient!), I'm taking an hour of the Samhain Cafe's Read An E-Book Week (otherwise known as RAEB). I'll be chatting there from noon to one tomorrow, so if any of you readers are members (or wish to become members), I will see you there.

I Am SO Not Martha Stewart

I have plans to put some gifts into the Samhain basket for the RT Convention in Pittsburgh this year. For the paranormal gift basket, I'm putting in some jasmine incense and a small incense burner; for the large basket, I'm sending in beautiful sterling silver tiger's eye drop earrings that I lust over and plan on ordering for myself.

So I bought the incense burner today, and it came in a lovely silver tube that I thought, "Gee, I bet I could make something with this!"

snicker snort

Yeah. Right.

So I took off the gluey logo paper that was on the front. Too bad I couldn't get the glue itself off.

Lightbulb!

I have textured cardstock paper from one of my eldest's school projects! Let's wrap it in that!

Okay, that worked. Mostly. It stuck to the tube, I can tell you that!

So I finish wrapping the lovely silver and glue tube with the lovely black paper, and realize two things:

1) The edges of the black paper are stark white, which looks pretty crappy;
2) On the evenness scale of 1-10? I hit about an 8. Slightly off center.

Oops. Crap.

Lightbulb!

I'll unwrap a christmas bow and viola! Instant ribbon!

Unfortunately it looked like it had been attacked by my cats, but hey! I can make it work! Right?

snicker snort

I finished my lovely ribbon edges and realized two things:

1) I could still see the white edges down the long side of the paper, because the ribbon only covered top and bottom;
2) It looks kinda like a pipe bomb.

I can fix (part of) that!

LIGHTBULB!

Black magic marker along that white edge, and viola! It blends.

Unfortunately, I nicked the rest of the paper in three spots. Shiny black magic marker spots on matte black textured paper.

Dusty peeked over my shoulder and said. "What is that? A pipe bomb?" Then Dusty got that LIGHTBULB! look on his face and added, "Why don't you drill a hole in the top and have one of the incense sticks sticking out, then it will really look real!"

Needless to say, the pipe-bomb-incense-thingy will NOT be making an appearance at RT this year...

I Learned Something New Today

I don't like fruit in my cottage cheese.

*shudder*

Those Darn Eyeballs

I'm in the second round of edits on The Wallflower, and I have to say that the process hasn't been nearly as painful as I thought it would be. A lot of what Angie is showing me is "noob" mistakes that I'll learn to do less and less over time. (And if not, she'll be more than happy to kick my butt and remind me I'm not as much of a noob anymore, lol.)

Apparently one of my biggest problems is spastic faces.


No. Seriously.

Eyeballs twinkle and roam all over the damn place. (I keep thinking of a beholder on LSD.) Lips try to teach us the Macarena, even though that dance is so dead even Anita Blake couldn't bring it back.


I know. It's not a pretty picture.

Who'd want to kiss that?

So now I'm in the process of once again taming those roving eyeballs and spastic lips while a three and a half year old repeatedly pokes me with a plastic toy. Ah, the joys of writing...

So what's your pet peeve in a story? Is it roving eyeballs and spastic lips? Is it "he said/she said" after every bit of dialog? Is it lengthy, prolonged, utterly boring descriptions of places that you'd rather chew broken glass than visit? (I'm a huge LoTR fan. I've read and reread the books ten or eleven times, and even I skip a particular chapter in The Two Towers. I feel like Nina Garcia on Project Runway: "Don't bore me!")

And on that note, it's tea and red pen time.