Have you ever tried to change a hardwired light fixture in the dark?
Okay. Yeah, I know, I know. I swear to you, no drugs or alcohol were involved, just my native stupidity.
My husband was on a business trip, so I decided it was the perfect "not going to interfere in my alone-time with the husband" time to re-do my powder room. New paint, new light, new vanity mirror... you get the picture.
So the base of the light was a different shape from the old, yucky one, which meant it had to be replaced before I could paint rather than after I painted. Head to basement, flip breaker switch, head upstairs...
No lights. 9:30 at night. Big ladder, small room, one flashlight, no helpers.
I finally went to the garage, got an extension cord, pulled a lamp out of my family room and put the damn flashlight back on my husband's desk. Things went much smoother after that...
"I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability." Ron White
"So let me get this straight. You want me to kill the little guys, kill the big guys, crowd control those I can't, buff the team, debuff the boss, keep myself alive, AND keep you alive, all while waving a stick and dressed in a towel?" - Anonymous Role Playing Gamer
"I think that statue over there is a statement on modern life. The statement is, "Well, shit." - Varric, Dragon Age II
"Why is it all claws and guns? Can't we piss off a fuzzy planet? Still dangerous, but hey. Bunnies." - Joker, Mass Effect
"Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?" - Dilbert
"Aim at the high mark and you will hit it. No, not the first time, not the second time and maybe not the third. But keep on aiming and keep on shooting for only practice will make you perfect. Finally you'll hit the bull's-eye of success." - Annie Oakley
"It is only when you fall that you learn whether you can fly." - Flemeth, aka The Witch of the Wilds, Dragon Age 2
"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.'” - George Carlin
"I hear there's a wild bridge tournament down the street. And you know Bridge. It's a lot like sex. If you don't have a great partner, you'd better have a good hand." Barry Weiss, Storage Wars
"You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe." - Marcus Cole, Babylon 5, "A Late Delivery From Avalon"
"I aim to misbehave." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds
"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein
“If you think you can or think you cannot, you are correct.” - Henry Ford