Note the word "especially"...
It's been a while since I caught up on Dear Abby (I don't watch soap operas, but I'll read advice columnists; go figure). Someone in one of the articles mentioned having met her "soul mate", but that soul mate wasn't her spouse. What to do?
Abby handed down the usual "don't break up your marriage" advice, along with the definition of a soul mate. Neither definition she posted mentioned love, sex, or anything like it.
Merriam Webster defines a soul mate as:
1: a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperamentDictionary.com has a similar definition:
2: a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs
a person with whom one has a strong affinity.The Cambridge Online Dictionary does mention romantic partners:
someone, usually your romantic or sexual partner, who you have a special relationship with, and who you know and love very much
Note the key word here: usually. A soul mate doesn't necessarily mean that person will be in your bed and sharing your day-to-day life. For instance, I happen to know someone with two soul mates, one of them his spouse, the other...not.
Picture this: a man goes to college and meets someone. That someone becomes his best friend, his comrade, the one who completes his sentences and gets his jokes when no one else does. He follows this person a thousand miles to a new city, a new life. They get jobs together, play together, live together. There are very few people on earth he'd rather spend time with, and the other person feels exactly the same way.
Sounds like soul mates, right? Keep reading.
The man meets a woman, and that woman has many of the same characteristics as his soul mate. He marries her, has children with her, builds a happy life with her. The soul mate also meets someone with many of the same characteristics as the man, marries her, has children with her, etc. Their children are taught that they are family in all respects but one: blood.
Our children call Dusty's other soul mate Uncle Bob.
In other words, they're brothers in every way but biological, soul mates even though they were never meant to be together romantically. A lot of people forget that a soul mate isn't always someone you have sex with, and roll their eyes when they hear the words. But for me, a soul mate isn't just some romance trope; it's more than that. It's a connection between two people that can't be denied, sisters and brothers of our hearts, and not always the person we go to sleep next to each night. I'll bet you've met people who are soul mates and just didn't describe them that way because we always tend to think in terms of our soul mates being our romantic partners.
Trust me. Neither Dusty nor Bob want to see the other naked.
Well. Now that I've got that off my chest I should get back to my day job, hmm?