Stubbornness.... He Has It.

Before I start, let me give you a little background info:

I have two beautiful boys whom I love very much. The eldest turns nine (NINE! OMG!) this month; the other turns forty-seven... er, four, in June.

They are know respectively as Rotten and Evil. (Don't worry, they know it's a joke; they giggle when I call them that. In fact, I accidentally called Rotten Evil once, and he corrected me.)

Dusty and I have been attempting to potty train Evil. He is remarkably resistant to threats, bribes, and attempts to park him on "da toilet". He's gone so far as to do the "cat about to be dumped in the tub" splaying of limbs to keep me from putting him on "da toilet". So I've been trying to reason with him.

Yeah. I know. It's been... fun.

Here's a sample of our conversations with Mr. Four-Going-On-Forty-Seven:

Mommy: "Baby, wanna pee in da toilet?"
Evil: "No!"
Mommy: "Baby, c'mon. Go pee in da toilet."
Evil (in that tone of voice three year olds reserve for really dumb parents): "No. Dia. Per."
Mommy (sighing): "Sweetheart, do you want to ride the school bus?"
Evil (eyes lighting up, because anything Rotten does has got to be cool): "Yeah!"
Mommy: "Do you want to go to school like (insert real name here)?"
Evil: "Yeah!"
Mommy (triumphantly): "Then you have to pee in da toilet!"
Evil (tilts head, thinks for a moment): "I drink from cup first."

He goes, gets a red plastic cup, puts some water in it, and drinks like a pro.

Evil: "Now I go to school?"
Mommy (sounding remarkably like a three year old): "No, baby. You have to pee in da toi. Let!"
Evil: "No. Dia. Per!"

My mom said my first mistake was making it a dialog instead of stripping him nekkid and parking his butt on "da toilet".

When was the last time you tried to put a forty-two pound angry octopus somewhere it didn't want to go?

I even tried taking his favorite stuffed animal, affectionately known as Monkey, and having it go potty a 'la Dr. Phil.

He put a diaper on it.