Midwestern Booklovers Unite Convention

Midwestern Booklovers Unite Convention
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Thursday, October 18, 2012

Scaling the Heights...Or Not

There are times when you must admit to something that you truly don't want to. Something you can't really change, but affects the rest of your life. It makes you unable to do some of the things (and wear some of the things) that you truly wish you could.


I am short.

I know, I know. The PC term is "vertically challenged", maybe even "height deficient". I get that. But not only am I short, I am of that class of vertically challenged people known as "fluffy". Now, to be fair, I've been on a diet for months and I've lost 25 lbs, but that does not take away from my inherent fluffiness.

(I prefer to think of myself as fun-size, but people look at you kind of funny when you say it. Especially this time of year. The last thing I want is to be saddled with the nickname Snickers.)

No matter how much I love it's peanutty goodness.
This is never brought home to me more than when I'm clothing shopping. Short and fluffy tends to equal big-ass flowers, v-necks and boat necks, and worse: black black black.

Just like this.

Yes. I'm wearing all black right now. But that just proves my point!

So I'm already looking at clothing for the Romantic Times Convention in 2013 (which I will be going to in Kansas City, MO). Usually, I'd be looking at Fairy Ball costumes, but this year, alas, there will be no fairy ball. Instead, they're having their 30th Anniversary Formal Ball. Which is cool, I admit. They even mention bringing your tiaras.

I am totally going to get my inner Disney on.
So I'm looking at gowns, and I see one that's absolutely stunning, and it's made for fluffy girls, which totally rocks, only...

...you have to be seven feet tall to wear it without tripping all over the beaded hem. And tripping the six people in line behind you.

See, I forgot the short part of short and fluffy.

But hey! I found another gown that meets the fluffy AND short requirements in one dress:

Now the model wearing it is 5'10", which means it will still puddle on the floor for me. But unlike the previous dress (which I desperately love, but has a beaded bottom so you'd have to practically take the dress apart to size it for 5'0"), this dress would cover me just fine. The one before it would cover me and the scooter with fabric to spare.

Yes, I know the two dresses I fell in love with are black. If I got it in pink... well...

I'm sure you see my problem.
Oh. On a side note, Morgan's Fate is officially in the Meat Grinder. I hope to have it out to my beta readers by the end of next week.


Valerie said...

I feel your pain! I'm only a couple inches taller and this is a constant struggle. Plus I've been on a diet for a year and lost 40 lbs, nothing since May. If you are fluffy I think I am extra fluffy. And for some reason all the retail stores seem to think if you are of the er...fluff...variety then you must be 6 foot tall and a line backer. I just don't understand why there aren't designers out there and stores that will buy decent looking clothing for fluffy, short people. Why can't they figure out how to flatter our fluffiness?? They charge us extra for the crap they sell in the first place, why not help a fluffy girl out?

I too am searching for a gown for RT. I know I'll probably have three before I settle on whatever I wear. I'm not looking forward to it. I know I'll fall in love with something steel blue or purple and I look like a battleship in steel blue and a big purple boat in purple. LOL I like your two choices. I say get some fans to carry a train if you go for the first one. A dress entourage if you will. LOL

P.S. I am shining up my tiara right after this.

Teena M. said...

I can understand being short and fluffy and the lack of clothing choices. I am only 5'2" and very fluffy. my own daughter is 5'0" like you and a little fluffy,of course she had a baby 15 months ago so she is slowly losing her fluffy status. I am early awaiting The Hob's release and Morgan's Fate to have a release date. I hope you have fun at the ball and wear you tiara with pride you are after all a princess to the ones that love you the most.

DJ said...

Just so you know, I am 5'7 and buy petite. Apparently when you are fluffy your butt is supposed to take up an extra foot of length.

Favorite Quotes

"I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability." Ron White

"So let me get this straight. You want me to kill the little guys, kill the big guys, crowd control those I can't, buff the team, debuff the boss, keep myself alive, AND keep you alive, all while waving a stick and dressed in a towel?" - Anonymous Role Playing Gamer

"I think that statue over there is a statement on modern life. The statement is, "Well, shit." - Varric, Dragon Age II

"Why is it all claws and guns? Can't we piss off a fuzzy planet? Still dangerous, but hey. Bunnies." - Joker, Mass Effect

"Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?" - Dilbert

"Aim at the high mark and you will hit it. No, not the first time, not the second time and maybe not the third. But keep on aiming and keep on shooting for only practice will make you perfect. Finally you'll hit the bull's-eye of success." - Annie Oakley

"It is only when you fall that you learn whether you can fly." - Flemeth, aka The Witch of the Wilds, Dragon Age 2

"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.'” - George Carlin

"I hear there's a wild bridge tournament down the street. And you know Bridge. It's a lot like sex. If you don't have a great partner, you'd better have a good hand." Barry Weiss, Storage Wars

"You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe." - Marcus Cole, Babylon 5, "A Late Delivery From Avalon"

"I aim to misbehave." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

“If you think you can or think you cannot, you are correct.” - Henry Ford