RT Convention, Part OMG I NEED TO PACK!

I leave for the Romantic Times Convention on Tuesday.

TUES. DAY.

I've already got my clothing packed, and I'm doing my best to ignore the little voice in my head that's telling me to FIX IT FIX IT OH GOD YOU'RE GOING TO LOOK LIKE HAMMERED ASS. AND THERE WILL BE PICTURES OF IT.

So. I'm not touching the clothing bag, not at all. I've tried everything on at least twice, and the amount of ass that will be visible should be at a minimum.

I still have to do my nails, pack my fold-able bins for Promo Alley, put some books on the Nook I'm giving away at Club RT, sign the print copies of Bear Necessities and Cynful that are going into said tote...

Did I forget to mention I'm giving away a tote with swag at Club RT? And that one of those bits of swag is a copy of Cynful, which won't be out in print until May 7?

Oh. Consider yourself told.

I'll also be signing The Gray Court series at the Giant Book Fair. I wanted to celebrate the release of The Hob by signing the previous books this year. It will be interesting to see which Dare to Believe cover shows up on my table. Come check it out, you might get one of the last white covers!

And my schedule wound up getting slightly changed. Instead of being at the FAN-Tastic Party 6:15 to 6:45, I'll be there from 6:30 to 7:00. It doesn't leave me a lot of time to change outfits for the Carina Press Cocktail Party or the Harlequin dance, but it will be worth it.

And that's it. I won't blog next week, because I'll be in Kansas City. I will send out my newsletter a few days early. Expect it some time on Sunday, as Monday I'll be hobbling around screeching like a howler monkey (when the Enbrel hasn't knocked my hammered ass out) and throwing shit into my suitcase.

You can find my full schedule here. If I'm at one of these events, or you see me at the bar, feel free to walk up to me and talk to me. I'd love it. :D

Gearing Up for the Romantic Times Convention

I leave in twelve days (TWELVE DAYS!!!) for the Romantic Times Convention in Kansas City, MO.

EEP.

I think I have all my outfits picked out, my jewelry and my headbands and tiara and...

And...

Did I remember to order those posters?

Gah. I always go a little insane right before a convention. And things are a little different this year, which is giving me hives, but is also a good thing. Instead of selling three eBooks at the eBook Expo, we're selling them all. You can purchase my entire eBook inventory currently on All Romance eBooks!

Which means, if you're attending and plan on purchasing eBooks from some of your favorite authors, make sure your device can read Qwerty (aka QR) codes. We'll be slapping stickers onto post cards with the code that takes you to the author's ARe page. And in case you're wondering, this is what a QR code looks like:

Go ahead. Scan it. It should take you to my ARe page. (If not, let me know; I'll need to fix that ASAP!) All of the authors selling eBooks will have these on something, be it postcards or something else.

If your device doesn't have that QR code reader attached, you can check your device for a QR Code Reader app. Most mobile devices have them available for free. In fact, I realized I didn't have one on my phone and downloaded it. There was more than one to choose from, and it was pretty easy! (PLEASE NOTE: Your phone or mobile device, like an iPad, needs to have a camera function in order to read a QR code.)

If you don't want to mess with QR codes and downloading apps to your device, you can simply click or type in this link into your tablet, phone or PC internet browser:

http://www.allromanceebooks.com/storeSearch.html?searchBy=author&qString=Dana+Marie+Bell

That will take you directly to my ARe author page.

FOR THOSE WHO *CANNOT* ATTEND THE EXPO IN PERSON

Mark Your Calendar for the RT EXPO on May 2  from 4 to 6 pm and join in the virtual EXPO event!

THIS YEAR THE RT EXPO IS GOING GLOBAL! ARe is the official bookseller for RT's Expo and this year we are making the book lover event global so that everyone from home can participate. Join in the fun by visiting this page on May 2 from 4 pm to 6 pm and attend the virtual event! Just click on any author’s name and it will take you to their unique author page on All Romance e-Books website where you can begin purchasing. We recommend that, if you do not already have an account with ARe  you set one up before the EXPO begins on May 2 to make your purchasing easy on the day of the event. We will be tweeting and Facebooking from the hotel with a live feed so feel free to join in the fun!

And in case you're wondering where I'll be at the convention, I'm posting my full schedule here.

P.S.: My Hob posters came in on time! 

Goodbye Chicago, Hello Dragos

The Romantic Times convention is over for another year. Le sigh. The con is always a fun, jam-packed week for me, and this time wasn't any different, but man do I hurt when it's over. Still... Kansas City in 2013!

Your first night there, you walk (or roll, as the case may be) around the hotel, trying to figure out where everything is. At least I do, because when you're in a mobility scooter things like stairs and escalators can be a real problem when half the convention is on a different floor, or when the elevators are all in one tiny little spot and you have to jostle for space. I will say the O'Hare Regency is excellently situated for that, as the elevators were in a central location, had stairs and escalators AND a handicap/service elevator that got me from one floor to another without having to fight any lines.

The central elevators had these really cool light-up bottoms and glass fronts.

Because it was so busy, and I didn't get a chance to blog about the con while I was there, I'm going to break it down by day. Bear with me, because the con is NUTS, but in a good way.

TUESDAY:

My first night there, I was invited to the Aussie Dinner, which is apparently an annual event. It was my first time there, and I enjoyed myself immensely. I got to sit at a table with Elizabeth Hoyt, Jade Lee (who wore a beautiful necklace), and Megan Crane.

Willy (one of the Aussies), me, Jade Lee and Cy, a bookseller from Wyoming. Behind us you can just make out Bianca d'Arc on the left.

WEDNESDAY:

The next day was the first full day of the convention, starting with the Welcome Party and a lovely tribute to the late Judi McCoy. Then it was off to the con, and the Science Fiction panel. Have I mentioned I've begun a Sci-Fi Paranormal Romance? Stern Negotiations is on my sidebar as one of my works in progress, so listening to advice from the likes of Linnea Sinclair and Ann Aguirre sounded like a really good idea.

From L-R: Cindy Spencer Pape, Isabo Kelly, Linnea Sinclair,  Ann Aguirre, Cindy Holby (aka Colby Hodge) and Beth Revis.

There was just enough time for lunch before my Club RT time. The Intergalactic Bar and Grill was fun, but jam-packed; I may skip it next time, as maneuvering the scooter through the press of bodies was not easy.

That evening, I skipped the Ellora's Cave party to have drinks (and pizza) with Scott Carpenter, the artistic director of Samhain and the man in charge of the beautiful covers, and Tera Kleinfelter, my Samhain editor. Tera was thrilled that I've finished The Hob, and says she can't wait to get her hands on it. Off to my room to read, and I was out like a light before I knew it.

THURSDAY:

I had a nice lunch at the hotel restaurant with PJ Schnyder, her boyfriend (whose name I forgot to get permission to post, so I won't), my new Carina Press editor Mallory Braus and her friend. After a little work on Stern Negotiations I was off to the eBook Expo!

Signing at the eBook Expo

It was far more crowded than I expected, but I gave away some of the tote bags, pens and pins, and everyone was having a good time getting autographs from their favorite ebook, independent and graphic novelists. Once the Expo was over, it was runrunrun to the Samhain Western Stampede.

A lot of women want to save a horse...

You could get your picture take in Samhain's "jail", browse the books, or win a Kindle Fire.

Time to get ready for the Fairy Ball! One lavender wig later, and I'm all set. Once again, I met up with PJ Schnyder, and together we glowed.

In my case, literally.

Friday: 

Oh, boy. It's Books, Bods and Brews day! But first, bright and early is Club RT. And I have to say, it's really quiet at 10:30 in the morning. I might do afternoons only next time.

After a nice solo lunch, it was time for Carina Press Bingo! Fill out your card and win a prize. Thank goodness the Books, Bods and Brews event was in the same room as the Bingo. Once that event was over, we were able to set up immediately without having to rush. Charles Paz (Mr. Romance 2009) made a surprise appearance, so PJ had some of the readers Pin The Kiss On The Hunk... using Charles!

And much swag was given away.

That evening, Carina Press hosted their authors for some free cocktails at Morton's Steakhouse, where I got to spend time with Cindy Spencer Pape, ZA Maxfield and Bonnie Dee. After, I headed to the bar again, where I got invited to sit with a group who turned out to be avid gamers. We drank alcohol and bitched about ME3's star child (and how much we wanted him gone) and how awesome in general BioWare and Bethesda are (or were. I think Bethesda is gone now.) Oh, and I still say you should try the Fenris rivalmance!

SATURDAY:

Oh my God, the crazy. This was easily the roughest day of the con. I was already signing in for the Giant Book fair at 9:30, where I ran into Dragonlady Beth, a fan of mine for quite some time now and a volunteer for the day. We chatted while I set up, and I made sure she got one of the tote bags from me before the event started. 

I later turned the sign around to show off the Cynful cover with Julian on it.

It was crazy! I had my back to Teen Alley, and I'm pretty sure Charlain Harris or Anne Rice were right behind us as well, because the line kept forming in front of our table to see one of them whenever their names were called. I had Bear Necessities, Dare to Believe and Noble Blood for sale, and sold almost all of them. I did walk out with some tote bags, which I'll be bringing to Lori Foster's RAGT next month.

By the time it's over you've been in your seat since 10a.m., your feet are asleep and you have to pee like no one's business, so off to the room I went for a quick bite, a long potty break and put my feet up before the evening festivities begin. The FAN-tastic author party was almost as packed as the Book Fair, and I got to speak to a few more fans before running to my room with forty-five minutes to get ready for the Carina Press Cocktail party, where we gave away two iPads.

PJ Schnyder, me and Seleste Delaney at the Carina Press Cocktail party.

The fun of the game was walking up to an author and asking, "Are you the one who wrote about the vampire who fell in love with a weretree?" And if you did that to me, the answer was yes for Blood of the Maple. You wrote the name and author on a slip of paper and entered the drawing for the iPad.

Off to the Harlequin dance party, but I didn't stay as long as I'd planned. Around 10:30 I slipped away with PJ and Mallory for drinks and some food, and didn't crawl into bed until one o'clock in the morning thanks to the need to pack. 

It was off home on Sunday, where Dusty and the kids took me out for Mexican and then tucked me into bed, one very tired, very happy author. I will definitely look into Kansas City for next year, but until then, I'm getting ready for Lori Foster's in June. See you there!

P.S.: I start Throne of Oak this week, and hopefully send The Hob to Tera this week as well. Cross your fingers for me!

RT Convention!

Tomorrow I fly out to Chicago for the RT Convention! WOOT! I'm going to do my best to get on Twitter and Facebook at least once a day, probably from my hotel room, so look for the occasional update from Chicagoland! If you're looking for me, I'll be the redhead in the black and blue mobility scooter.

Just like this one, but with a basket on the back as well.

For those of you who are going to the Fairy Ball, I'll be in a black lace dress with wings that look remarkably like these:

Except more purple.

I'm debating on whether or not to wear the lavender wig I bought to go with the outfit. If you're going to be a cross between a Scottish thistle fairy and a will-o-the-wisp, I think you need lavender hair. It's also no secret I love playing dress-up, and wear a witch's hat every Halloween to hand out candy.

Dusty, on the other hand, gave me icky-poo face when I put it on for him. 

He looked exactly like this.

What do you think? (I'd post a picture, but I've already packed it. D'oh.)

I'll also be at the Samhain Western Stampede, complete with cowboy hat:

Cowboy not included.

And at the Carina Press Cocktail party, and Books, Bods and Brews, and the eBook Expo, and the Giant Bookfair, and...

Well.  Check my website for where I'll be. 

I look forward to seeing you all!

Fifty (Per)Cent and a Print Date

I know it's been a while since I posted, but I wanted to leave the Contest post up as long as possible. With all the funky weather around here, I haven't gotten as much work done as I would have liked, but more than I'd hoped for.

These have seen a lot of use this week. That and enough Aleve to fell an elephant.

Since I'm hurting today, I'm just going to hit the highlights:

1. Galley (aka print) edits for Artistic Vision are done. The print release date: October 12, 2012.

2. Final line edits have been turned in for Howl For Me. Unless there's a last-last-minute issue, it's done and ready to come out in March.

3. My Romantic Times Convention schedule has been pretty much finalized. I'll post that on my website soon, so people know where I'm going to be and when.

4. I broke the 50% mark on The Hob this week, which, considering how the weather's been, I consider a triumph. I've made notes of what's going on in the next chapter, it's just a matter of sitting down and writing it. A fairy ball, a fight, Oberon making an unexpected appearance. Oh, and smex.

So that's it! I'm still (yes, STILL) waiting on Cynful. I need to hunt some people down and threaten them with my cane.

Okay, maybe not. I could totally hobble away with their coffee maker, though. That would get things going, now wouldn't it?

Oh, and one more thing. I'm so not cooking dinner tonight.

I know what I want... if only Dusty could cook. And man, that looks GOOD. The site calls it Grandma Pizza.

Still Sick, But Hey! No Green Wig!

This lingering head crud is still kicking my ass (which isn't that hard since it's a fairly large target. A blind elephant could kick my ass), but I've managed to keep the word count flowing. I'm near 55k, which means I've only got another 25k to go before the rough draft is complete. Onward vegetarian vampire dude! I'm hoping Parker and Amara will be ready for an agent a couple of weeks after I get back from Disney World.

And in case you're thinking, "Damn, that cold is lasting a really long time", the Black Hole of Disease does not do things half-way. When I get sick, I get sick. It lingers, like a *bad in-law, sucking the life out of you while making you wish you were dead, yet feeling guilty about the fact that you look at the kids and say, "I dunno. My brain is on fire. Ask your father."

And finally, someone other than PJ posted pictures of me without the green wig! Andrea Becraft of Judging the Book By Its Pages managed to get some of the only RT pictures of me NOT in the green wig! She even got one of me in the scooter!

Wanna see?

The infamous Scooter. This year, I managed not to run anyone over. That's me and Andrea, by the way!

At the RT 2010 Giant Book Fair, showing off my Nook and my l33t PowerPoint skills. I had a slideshow going on my netbook the whole time.

By the way, I'm lovin' the new haircut, but I have to be careful. The other day I was playing with it and was horrified to find I'd styled myself just like Prince Valiant. That ain't good.

See? Not. GOOD. And this is one of the better Prince Valiant looks. *shudder*

P.S.: Did I mention I'm going to DISNEY WORLD? Once or twice, maybe? I think I said it at least two times a day at RT.


*MY in-laws ROCK. My MIL is one of my beta readers!

Honey, I'm Hoo-ooome!

D. Renee Bagby and some dork in a wig.

I'm dead. I think RT killed me.

This was my second Romantic Times Convention, and this time I was savvier (or so I thought... Damn you, Dresden Files!). I brought clothes that were comfortable AND looked good; I brought shoes I could stand in without killing myself. And I had the hubby attach a big old basket to the back of my scooter which turned out to be a lifesaver.

RT Morning Mixer centerpiece. These were hand made!

Our first day there I met up with PJ Schnyder for breakfast at the Morning Mixer. Hats abounded, with people wearing them, commenting on them, or just plain staring at them. Our table had the lovely feathered green hat pictured above that you could barely see around, but as a centerpiece it was a gorgeous touch to the morning's theme. There was a wonderful tribute to Kate Duffy that left not a dry eye in the place. The lady touched a lot of lives, and that's one hell of a legacy she can be proud of.

After the Morning Mixer, it's off to the races! The RT conference tends to be business in the front, party in the back. In other words, there's more for the writer or aspiring writer during the daylight hours, but at night... WOOOHOOOO! Boobies in corsets and man-flesh abound. And that's fun for everyone.

Marilyn Mandalis (if I'm reading her name tag right,) PJ Schnyder and her friend Laura.

See? But I digress.

The Sinfully Sweet party went over great, especially after the man-flesh... I mean, the MODELS arrived. *cough*

Man-flesh at the Sinfully Sweet Party. Franco D'Angelis facing the crowd and Charles Paz facing Franco.

Shirts were ripped off, women were rubbed on, and a good time was had by all. We had quite a turn-out for it and gave away all our goody bags.

By the way, I THOUGHT it was wear a silly shirt for the party, so I packed my T-shirt that said, "Hi. Where's your off button?" It wasn't until I met up with Stephanie "Flash" Burke and D. Renee Bagby that I realized it was wear a silly HAT.

Luckily, I had something that made me look stupid!

Oh look. A dork in a wig.

Yes, most of the photos of me that I've found are in that wig. (And yes, that IS a tiara. Your point?)

Congrats to everyone who won a big prize at the party!

That night was the Ellora's Cave Paint the Town Red party. It was one of the two parties I went to, and one I'd heard quite a bit about. I was expecting whirling dongs, the way people spoke about the party in the past, but pants stayed on and no dongs whirled. I'm pretty sure the three males who managed to find their way from their convention party to ours are eternally grateful for that.

Me and PJ at the Ellora's Cave Paint the Town Red Party.

Girlfriend rocks a corset dress. And have I ever mentioned I'm inordinately short? Five foot nothing, in fact. You should see me next to Stephanie Burke. I'm a damn midget next to her.

Thursday was all about agents, editors and fairies. I went to some publisher spotlights and an agent panel that day, and dressed as a fairy that night. Not sure if anyone got a pic of me in my fairy costume this year. I'll have to hunt the 'net to find out. I know, I forgot to get someone to take one of me. If anyone has a pic of me at the fairy ball, pass the link along, k? I was a "frost fairy", all in black and silver and, yes, I wore the tiara.

All right, I'll admit it. I have a secret Disney Princess wish. So there.

Friday was much of the same, but with an Ebook Expo thrown in. And man, wasn't that fun! I had my little netbook with me playing a powerpoint presentation, and I got to chat with readers and booksellers and librarians, oh my! And I got the best compliment ever when someone told me that they'd heard that not only were my books good but that I was a pleasure to work with.

I'm still tingly over that one.

The vampire ball was that night. I chose not to attend; I know my limits, and I was hitting them, hard. I decided to go to bed early that night, so of COURSE I sat up until two a.m. reading Dresden Files. Go ahead, mock. But damn it, it was good.

Saturday, and it's time for the Giant Book Fair! No copies of Dare to Believe unfortunately, but plenty of Hunting Love. I was sandwiched between Laura Baumbach (who had her own personal cookie delivery during the signing) and Laura Bickle. Stephanie Burke nearly beheaded Laura Bickle with a tiny bottle of bubbles. The woman has a heck of a pitch, but she needs to work on her aim. She was going for MY head, you see.

By nine o'clock that night I was ready to pass out. I curled up on my nice hotel room bed, and woke up the next morning at seven thirty. Breakfast, airport (Columbus's airport is TINY!), a purchase of peanut M&M's and two stuffed piggies for my kids, and I'm ready to go. I headed home and immediately took my men out to the Baltimore Aquarium and pizza, as promised.

Two of my three boys at the Baltimore Aquarium.

It was good to be home. I'm pretty sure I'm dead. I'm just waiting for someone to mention the smell and prove me right.

P.S.: I won't be attending RT next year, since I can't fly all the way to LA without turning myself int a Rice Krispie in milk. I have, however, promised I would be at the Lori Foster event next year, so I'm looking forward to that.

P.P.S.: I met LORI FOSTER! Of course, I froze up like a teenager meeting Hannah Montana, but that's not the POINT! I got a total squee moment!

P.P.P.S.: Today is your last chance to enter the contest for a signed copy of Dare to Believe, so act quick! I'm announcing the winner tomorrow!

P.P.P.P.S.: I got some swag I'll be giving away soon... keep an eye out for another contest announcement!

Leaving on a Jet Plane

For the Romantic Times convention tomorrow! YEEHAW! I'm (mostly) packed and (kinda) ready. And I'm really looking forward to it.

For anyone who subscribes to my newsletter, it will be late since I won't be back from the convention until Sunday, May second. That means it will either go out the third or, if I'm still busy groaning from exhaustion, the fourth. Also, since I'd have to pay ten dollars a day for internet service I won't be doing my RT post here until I get back. That also means that odds are good I won't be answering any emails either. So if you need to get hold of me... Um.

That said, maybe I'll make one of the cover models from RT my Hottie of the Month? Hmm...

I Have A New Look!

So I got a haircut and new glasses this week. I went strawberry blonde (with fuschia highlights because, well, I'm weird that way) and black glasses with this really cool scroll work on the arms. When I mentioned it on Facebook, someone said "PICTURES! How will we find you at RT if you look completely different?" And I looked at my profile picture and thought, you know, she's right.

So. Pictures. Not the best shots of me, but when I get back from RT I'll have someone do a more professional head shot. For now, you're stuck with the "I took this in the bathroom with my arms all the way out" shot.

P.S.: Surprisingly, since I only cut off my hair because I fried it (long story) I like the new hairstyle. I haven't had bangs since... well. A LONG time ago!

RT 2009, Day Five: The Writer Has Landed

Me, at the Giant Book Fair... with no books.

Before anyone goes "EEP! What do you mean, no books?!?", Angie came by and snapped this picture of me AFTER I'd sold out of Hunting Love.

Arrived at the Book Fair an hour early, and boy did I need it. They went through the books I'd (foolishly) taken with me (they were mine... as in Hunting Love) and put little yellow stickers on them. Then they told me where I'd be parking from ten forty-five until two.

Middle of the row. Gah. Gotta park my chariot. Found a spot that said "NO EXIT" and decided it would do.

Set out pens, post cards, flyers and chapstick, said hello to my neighbors Will Belegon and Renee Bernard, and settled down to-

Hello again, Debbie!

Debbie was a conventioneer who found me at the Ebook Expo and pretty much ordered me to Write Faster. Being a loyal minion of my fans, of course I agreed. Well, she found me at the book fair, too. I think she was helping the RT staff to make sure that everything was set up the way it was supposed to be, but that didn't mean she wasn't snagging books while she was at it. And one of the books she snagged was mine.

I probably had the biggest grin of any author there.

So the real wait began. At ten forty-five the doors opened to the registered conventioneers. At eleven they opened to the public.

At eleven thirty I was out of books.

Gone. All six to eight of them (I forgot to count). I wound up signing brochures for two and a half hours and pushing pens on unsuspecting passers-by.

Squee!

By two o'clock I was more than ready to call it a day. I wound up going through a different exit than everyone else, because the No Exit I parked the scooter by? The registers. Um. Seems the sign was only there temporarily until they moved it to it's REAL home. One of the RT staffers let me out rather than have me wait in line to not pay for books.

Thanks, whoever you were!

I headed to Downtown Disney and bought presents for my kids after hitting an early dinner at Olive Garden, which I never get to go to since my husband only likes MY Italian (a compliment, trust me). Then I debated hitting the Mr. Romance competition.

I didn't go. Frankly, at that point I still had to pack for home, every joint in my body ached, I had bruises and scrapes from getting my chariot in and out of my OTHER chariot (btw, HATE the new Rav4), and I wanted to read and sleep, not necessarily in that order.

Sorry, no half naked men pics (for now, anyway; I have to see what's in my suitcases).

Sunday I headed out, had some stuffed french toast and sat in the airport until it was time to come home. Texted Dusty "The writer has landed" when we arrived.

God I'm glad to be here, even though I had a blast. I missed my kids, and I missed my time to write. Back to work tomorrow, but tonight, good night! I'm freakin' exhuasted.

RT 2009, Day Four: I Am A Victim of Comedy

Stephanie Burke tries to get someone to laugh during the Sinfully Sweet party. You laugh, you lose!

So today was both busier and quieter than my other days at RT. At ten-thirty I was stuffing goodie bags with D. Renee Bagby for the Sinfully Sweet Party. Lots of fun and games, prizes, some ick moments and a crap load of cookies that wound up in the trash. The challenge of the mad libs was to read what we'd written without laughing; if you could do that you won a prize. You got a goodie bag just for volunteering. Other games included "Make up the wildest people/sexual position you could think of" (Bill Clinton and GW Bush in a sixty-nine? Really? EW!) and "Write the first line of a book" (which won the grand prize of a one-of-a-kind hat just like ours and a prize bag).

Lunch time saw me grabbing something NOT from the hotel restaurant but from the little cafe off to the side. The egg and cheese croissant sucked pretty badly, but I was starving and about ready to chew off my own hand if I had the right sauce.

Club RT! I got to meet a few people who love the Pumas but weren't aware of Very Much Alive, so I handed out some postcards and got to sign one. An RT volunteer even took a bit of promo, thanks to the lovely Anne Cain covers she saw on my table (Natalie, I promise I'll take Steel Beauty's cover with me next time; I didn't think to bring it!). Then it was off too... a short nap.

I was tired; still am.

Met some of theSamhain/Linden Bay authors, like Bianca d'Arc and Samantha Sommerby, for some wine and cheese with Marty Mathews and Angela James. Lorelei James (no relation) had the most kick-ass cowgirl boots, and one of the worst dance floor stories I'd ever heard.

The vampire ball. What can I say about the vampire ball?

The Vampire Ball dinner show

Um. Hmm. It was sort of Universal Studios meets the Rocky Horror Picture Show with a bit of Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame thrown in for spice. The lead vampire lady sang three times. Van Helsing sang once. And my brain tried to sing itself outta there.

I don't know about you, but when the head vampire lady starts to sing "When I think about you I touch myself", my first thought is "ick." And when the Hulk started playing guitar and Hellboy and Batman looked like they might have a fist fight I focused on my white-sauced chicken, sticky rice and three little tomatoes (they like three tomatoes here for some reason) and tried my best not to watch anymore. I texted Dusty, and he wanted to know what exactly I had been drinking to see V stagger on stage and die at the feet of Harley Quinn while Van Helsing made a pass at the woman in white.

Trust me, there is not enough booze in the world to make me see that. I volunteered.

So I'm back in my room, glad I avoided part two of the "mystery vampire theater". Comfy jammies, a little sangria, and an early night before my last RT event: the giant book fair. I MIGHT do the Mr. Romance contest before going shopping for my kids, so if I do I'll take some pictures.

Mel? So far no one's done anything incriminating, not even Flash. The biggest thing going on is the people next door to me have a screaming match every. Damn. Night. I sense divorce court in their future. Disappointing, isn't it?

RT 2009, Day Three: I Am A Bad Fairy

Bad picture. Bad fairy.

Sorry for the lousy picture. My regular camera died and I'm forced now to use the video camera with no light to take pictures. This one was so dark I had to turn the gamma all the way up, but I promised you a fairy in a corset and damn it you're getting one.

So day three got off to a lovely start. I slept in a bit (I got up at seven; yup, total slug-a-bed), had breakfast, did my usual morning routine, posted a few naughty mini-excerpts on the Cafe and headed to Club RT.

Club RT was very crowded. I got to chat with a few people, and it was fun. Didn't sign a laptop, but you can't do that every day. :D

Off to a panel on e-marketing and got some really good ideas. Look for a slight update to my website in the future if I can figure out how to get it to work!

Lunch. No lasagna again (pout), which makes them evil since lasagna is the main ingredient to a happy life. I think they see me coming and hide it. Chicken parm was lovely, though.

A two hour panel on the myths of epublishing with Treva Harte, Angela James and Raelene Gorlinski. Lots of fun, tons of info, and perfect if you weren't as familiar with epubs.

Back in the room, relax. Change nail polish color. Attach pretty white butterfly on pinky nail (I'd show you, but the f'ing camera...). It looks like I took Tinkerbell and shook her little ass all over my room, spraying fairy dust hither and yon. The poor car rental people are going to think the sparkle fairies had an orgy in the driver's seat.

Wait wait wait. I hate waiting, especially when a) I leave my scooter back in the room thinking I'm not going to be standing in line and b) when standing in line for twenty minutes and my hip and knee start to ache. Argh. Go into ball: oooooh, sparkly. Sat with some very nice people, like a librarian from a small town in Carolina (don't ask me which, I'm freakin' tired. You're lucky I'm speaking English) where people go to dig up fossils and mostly find shark teeth. Fairy costumes ROCKED, especially the ones with the light up wings.

Yes, I have wing envy. What of it?

Food was steak with some bland brown sauce, potatoes that might have been au gratin at some point in their lives, a pile of yellow... stuff, and three tomatoes. Um. Steak was good?

Fairies! Eve Vaughn was on the Unseelie Court, and being part of the DC Area Storytellers of COURSE I made sure to sit on their side of the ballroom. I actually got up and paraded the stage, but couldn't take part in the contest since it required standing on the dance floor. Done enough standing today, thank you.

First place was won by a man dressed as the Green Man and calling himself Willow. The costume wasn't the awesomist in my opinion, but damn if it didn't win on originality. A leather-clad man in a long, white wig with a rockin' bod and an oak leaf mask?

I could see why he beat out all the other fairies.

God, I wish you guys were here.

Headed back to room a little early since I'm not exactly a twinkle-toes on the dance floor. Had fun, but it was time to wash away the glitter and prepare for another day with a temporary fairy wing tatoo on my boob.

What? I forgot to buy baby oil. With my luck the sucker ain't coming off until the second coming.

RT 2009, Day Two: I Signed A Laptop

Me at the Ebook Expo. Photo courtesy of Angela James and up on Twitter.

I miss my waterbed, but all things considered I slept fairly well last night. I was up at six, not exactly the quickest duck on the pond, but my eyes were open and I knew where the coffee pot was so I was good to go. Got out the door by a little before eight, loaded the scooter into the car, and headed off to RT. Got registered pretty quickly, for which I was grateful. It looked like they had everything well in hand.

I decided to skip the morning mixer, mostly because it occured to me that one of the events, the Samhain Bookseller event, was outdoors. I needed to make sure that I knew how to get the scooter from point A (i.e., airconditioned comfort) to point B (outdoors, next to the pool, with nary a hunk in sight. Le sigh.)

Oh! Wanna see the scooter? Someone actually recognized me because of the blog I wrote for The Samhellion about it:


Yeah, for those of you there, I was THAT crazy lady on the scooter. For those of you who weren't, yes, it occasionally listed to port. Those bags were full of BOOKS.

I went to the Samhain morning workshop where they talked about the publisher and answered any questions on submissions and what they're currently looking for. It turned out to be serendipity when I took one of their flyers, because all of them went pretty fast and I was able to give one of mine to someone who'd missed out.

Next was the hybrid paranormal panel, where they discussed the difference between urban fantasy and paranormal romance. What I got out of it was that there seems to be a difference of opinion on the subject. Me, I think it's an urban fantasy if there's no promise of an HEA. If there is the promise of an HEA, and even better if its fulfilled, then it's paranormal romance.

LUNCH! They ran out of lasagna (pout) but because they did they paid for my lunch. Wasn't that sweet? I'll have to try them again when they HAVE lasagna!

Off to the Men in Menage panel. I learned that there are two types of menage readers: those who don't really care if the guys have a little somethin' goin' on, and those who SQUICK-EEP-EW! over the very thought of manbits touching manbits. Me, I'm kind of an equal opportunity reader (and writer: just check out Very Much Alive!) but I get that not everyone is.

The Samhain Booksellers event was fun. I got to sign some totebags, and a copy of Hunting Love. There's something wierd and wonderful about signing a tote bag or a book, and knowing that someone is going to treasure that, a feeling that was even bigger when I did the Ebook Expo. Someone asked me to sign their laptop.

Their laptop.

Can you imagine? I texted Dusty immediately, it was such a Squee! moment. And I hope that if that person reads this blog that they know they made my day.

Off to Target for tea mugs (because Target didn't have tea cups), a not-so-quick trip to McD's, and back to my room to fill you all in on my day after blowing good night kisses to my sons over the phone. I'll be late posting tomorrow (possibly as late as Friday), since the Fairy Ball is tomorrow night. However I will make it up to you with a picture of a dork in a red corset with fairy wings.

Yes, me. Who else would pair a red corset with black and purple fairy wings?

RT 2009, Day One: A Loooooooong F'ing Day

Damn, is that title an understatement.

I got up a bit before seven this morning and helped the hubby get the ten year old off to school. Grabbed a quick shower, wrote a blog post, finished packing, got the five year old up and dressed (okay, Dusty mostly got the five year old ready), and was out the door by ten thirty for my flight.

Which was, of course, delayed.

So I arrived in Orlando about two hours later than I planned. Got my bags, hitched them to my scooter, and headed for the rental car place, planning on hitting the kiosk, my car, and the highway, in that order.

The kiosks were down. No idea when they'd be back up.

Gah.

So I waited in line and tried not to run over the very cute, very energetic three year old in front of me. Half an hour later, the man behind the desk says, You know, that scooter might not fit into a mid-size SUV. Let's say we upgrade.

Okay, says I. Let's.

I cross the street and hit the elevator, because scooters just do not do well on escalators. Go figure. I ask where the regular size SUVs are and I'm given a location.

Only one problem. The parking spots are empty.

EMPTY.

So I head back, and the nice man insists he told me I could take a mid-size instead. Like I'm going to pay an extra one hundred dollars for having the privilege of renting the car I wanted in the first place. Downsize me back, please?

Seven o'clock. Can't get the GPS to work because I'm still in the parking lot. Thank god I know where International Drive is even if I don't know exactly where the hotel is. See? Disney every other year really DOES pay off, dear!

Find hotel, check in, ask where I need to go to sign in as an author. Around the bend, look for the signs, no problem.

Except they stopped signing people in at six.

Grrr.

Head to room, which, by the way, is supposed to be handicap friendly. If this is handicap friendly, I'd hate to see hostile.

Argh.

Eight thirty. Starving. Ready to chew off own arm. A fiber apple muffin and a soft pretzel just aren't enough food for me. Head to Friendlies for some chocolate ice cream therapy.

Ahhh. Much better.

Head back to room and discover that high speed internet is a luxury, not a privilege. If I want it I need to go back to the main part of the hotel, prop my feet up on a coffee table, open my laptop and pray.

I am using my cell phone as a modem to post this.

And now, at roughly ten thirty at night, I've updated the buy links on my website and I'm ready to collapse. I'll post a bit more tomorrow after I get back from dinner.

I'm here. I'm alive. And I'm already jonesing for my Verizon FiOS.

Polish Your Pitch at the RT Convention

****Permission to Forward Granted*****

Join Angela James and Ron Hogan at RT this Wednesday from 11:45-12:45 to "Polish Your Pitch". Angela
got left off the official RT schedule so please help spread the word!

"Samhain Executive Editor Angela James and publishing industry
commentator Ron Hogan of Beatrice.com lead an interactive workshop on
creating a great story pitch. Come prepared to tell us what your
novel's about; we'll take your description apart then help you rebuild
it better, stronger, faster. Don't be afraid...we'll be gentle."

Ron Hogan is well known as a savvy,fair book reviewer and knowledgeable commentator on all
aspects of the publishing industry, both digital and print.

http://beatrice.com/wordpress/about-ron-hogan/

Angela James is the Executive Editor of Samhain Publishing. Her mission is to drag readers
(and authors) to the digital dark side, one reader at a time.

Friday. EEP!

omgomgomgomgomg... RT is coming! Steel Beauty is coming! I bought a scarf I don't even need! I don't WEAR scarves! What was I thinking?!? AAAAAAAHHH!!!!


Oh, back rub...

Panic in 3... 2... 1....

I always get like this just before a trip. I see the calendar and suddenly it hits:

HOLY CRAP! I only have Eleven DAYS!?!

I only have eleven days.

Do I have all my promo? Did I count out how much I'm bringing so I won't be overloaded? Do I have all my reservations in a row? Do I remember how to take apart my scooter and put it back together again?

What dresses am I bringing? More importantly, what shoes?

I have to buy tea cups for the Sinfully Sweet party! GAH! Got the tea, no cups! And... and...

Oooh, back rub.

I love my hubby.

Okay, so other than the promo stuff, this is what happens when I'm close to going on a trip. Once I'm at the airport I'm fine, because there's nothing, literally nothing I can do if I missed something. But for the next week and a half?

Total basket case.

Add in the R&R on Only In My Dreams and this insistent little voice that's telling me you did it wrong! and you're looking at an EPIC basket case. (Did I say I'd have that done in two weeks? Seriously? Was I drugged at all?)

So today's focus will be on getting those tea cups and re-reading OIMD to try and figure out what I did wrong this time.

Oh, and trying not to panic. (Although those back rubs are pretty nice...)

Let The Madness Begin!

Rain again today and a trip to the doctor's office kept me from writing. Gah. But I never try to let a day go by where I don't do something that I consider "work-related", whether it's writing, editing, promoing or updating my website. So today I began going over what I'm going to need for the RT convention and making sure my bookmarks were all ready to go, since it's only three weeks away and already ALL of my April weekends are booked.

This will be my first convention as an author, and my first book signing where I actually have a book to sign! I'm two parts excited and one part nervous wreck, but going over everything I'm sliding more towards excited. All of my promo has arrived on time and is in good condition (with a minor snafu of white caps on the lip balm, but that's my fault not the company's so I'm not stressing over it). I've taken my scooter apart and put it back together after Dusty sent me from the room and jumbled the pieces to simulate how the airport will most likely give it back to me. I even have my costume for the fairy ball (including two wigs; I can't decide between the blue or the purple)!

Now all I have to do is decide how to get that promo to RT without killing myself or accidentally running someone over in an unfortunate multi-suitcase/scooter accident.

I wonder if I can do a "Countdown to Florida" gadget here...

EDIT: Dang, getting and putting up the gadget was easy! Keep an eye on the clock!